You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger?Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 word

These days, there is a surge in the number of
individuals
choosing to spend a considerable amount of money to appear to be more youthful. From my perspective, I firmly believe that
this
expenditure is a highly positive development.
This
essay will give several reasons for
this
trend
and discuss why it is positive. To commence with, there are a plethora of driving forces behind the tendency to invest a significant sum in skincare and
beauty
treatments to achieve a youthful appearance.
Firstly
, the proliferation of social media platforms and photo fix apps has become one of the biggest reasons for
this
trend
as it offers a lot of images of perfect, blemish-free skin and stunningly beautiful faces, which creates immense pressure to conform to strict
beauty
standards and achieve the same level of perfection.
For example
,
model's
Fix the agreement mistake
models'
show examples
and influencers’ perfect images on Instagram can become role models for
individuals
to attempt to be gorgeous based on their standards.
Secondly
, the
beauty
industry has been successful in manipulating
individuals
with marketing campaigns and advertisements into believing that they need to look yo
unger
Change the capitalization
Unger
show examples
in order to be considered attractive or beautiful. In my opinion,
this
trend
is completely positive and can benefit
individuals
and society in a multitude of ways. First and foremost, looking younger can lead to being fully satisfied with one's appearance, leading to increased self-confidence and enhanced self-esteem.
This
, in turn, can result in more job opportunities, as potential employers may view
individuals
who appear youthful and confident as more capable and attractive candidates for a position.
For instance
, a person who looks younger may be more likely to be offered a job opportunity, especially in industries where complexion is considered crucial
such
as hospitality, sales or media.
Additionally
, a youthful appearance may lead to longer working lives and increased productivity, which can stimulate economic growth and development.
Furthermore
, looking youthful may
also
foster innovation and creativity, as
individuals
bring fresh ideas and perspectives to the table. In conclusion, the emerging
trend
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
spending a fair sum to look younger can be attributed to several factors
such
as the proliferation of social media and
beauty
standards. In general,
this
can be seen as a positive tendency as it plays a pivotal role in benefiting
individuals
and society by its tremendous perks.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples that directly relate to the points you make. This can help to provide real-world context and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure all paragraphs have clear topic sentences and try to maintain more consistent clarity throughout your arguments. This can enhance the comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down your supporting points into smaller, distinct paragraphs for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to be more concise in your argumentation, especially in linking ideas together. This will help to maintain focus and readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points effectively.
task achievement
The writer outlines reasons behind the trend and supports how it can be considered a positive development.
language use
Good use of vocabulary and varied sentence structures to convey ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!