IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture. Others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #art #culture #activities #population
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There are divergent opinions regarding the allocation of
government
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 funding for supporting
art
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 and
culture
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. Some argue that
such
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 funding should not be prioritized,
while
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 others contend that it can be advantageous for both the populace and the
culture
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. On one hand, opponents of
government
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 funding for
art
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 and
culture
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 often cite more pressing needs,
such
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 as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. They argue that limited financial resources should be directed towards addressing these fundamental societal needs rather than investing in what they perceive as non-essential luxuries.
Additionally
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, some critics question the efficacy of
government
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 involvement in cultural
endeavors
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endeavours
show examples
, expressing concerns about potential mismanagement and inefficiency in the allocation of funds. They argue that private patronage or market-driven support may be more effective in sustaining artistic and cultural initiatives.
On the other hand
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, proponents of
government
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 funding for cultural activities argue that
such
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 investments can yield significant benefits for society as a whole. They contend that
art
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 and
culture
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 play a crucial role in fostering social cohesion, promoting national identity, and enhancing quality of life.
Government
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 support can ensure accessibility to cultural experiences for all segments of the population, regardless of socioeconomic status.
Moreover
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, funding for cultural activities can stimulate economic growth by attracting tourism, supporting creative industries, and generating employment opportunities. In my opinion,
while
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 I acknowledge the validity of concerns about competing priorities for
government
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 funding, I believe that supporting
art
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 and
culture
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 is essential for the enrichment and well-being of society. Cultural activities contribute to the fabric of our collective identity and provide avenues for creativity, expression, and connection.
Therefore
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, I advocate for
government
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 funding to be allocated judiciously to support a vibrant and inclusive cultural landscape that benefits individuals and communities alike.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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Specificity
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Both sides of the argument could be strengthened by including real-life cases or statistical data to back up your points.
Balance and Depth
In future essays, try to explore a broader range of perspectives for a more balanced discussion. This will enrich your analysis and demonstrate your ability to consider complex viewpoints.
Cohesion
Great job on creating a cohesive essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. To further enhance your essay, consider connecting your ideas more tightly within paragraphs through transitional phrases.
Task Response
You successfully discussed both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, contributing to a clear and comprehensive task response.
Coherence
Your essay exhibits a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusive opinion. This organization makes your argument easy to follow.
Expression
Your writing is engaging and effectively communicates your ideas, offering a clear perspective and comprehensive understanding of the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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