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Band 1.5

countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy some product anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive of negative develolment?

#countries #people #product #world #develolment
Statement
Add an article
The statement
A statement
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 is given that buyers can have items from all
the
Change preposition
over the
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 world using
online-shopping
Correct your spelling
online shopping
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe
that is
 useful for people around the world.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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 many people have
Correct article usage
a chance
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chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to
make shopping
Wrong verb form
shop
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 through
Correct article usage
a network
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network
Correct article usage
a network
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,
however
 by
multi click
Add a hyphen
multi-click
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, so buyers
able
Add a missing verb
are able
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 to have what they want, without
traveling
Correct your spelling
travelling
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, sometimes there are good prices better than in
oficial
Correct your spelling
official
 shop, maybe there is some
challenge
Change the form of the verb
challenges
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 regarding the sizes if the items will be not fit.
Another issues
Replace the adjective
Another issue
Other issues
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 could
face
Wrong verb form
be faced
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people
Change preposition
by people
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 who
using
Wrong verb form
use
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online-shop
Correct your spelling
online
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, its about
time
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the time
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 of delivery, or cancel the process, so they should
to
Change the verb form
apply
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contact
seller
Correct article usage
the seller
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 section to
explaine
Correct your spelling
explain
 the problem, and that takes
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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. Shopping
in
Change preposition
on
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network
Add an article
the network
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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pepole
Correct your spelling
people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not control themself, they tend to buy
shat
Correct your spelling
what
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 they need or not. Another
ideas
Replace the adjective
idea
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says
Verb problem
is
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 that some
pepole prefere
Correct your spelling
people prefer
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
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 in
Correct article usage
an oficial
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oficial
Correct your spelling
official
 shop,
check
Correct word choice
and check
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 what want in real life, without using pictures to buy the product.
Submitted by s0s01 on

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main idea development
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop this with specific examples.
clarity of ideas
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make your main ideas clear.
structure improvement
Adding an introduction and a conclusion will help frame your essay and express your viewpoint more clearly.
grammar and punctuation
Be mindful of sentence structure and punctuation to improve readability.
balance of viewpoints
You've included several positive and negative aspects of online shopping, which helps balance your essay.
understanding of topic
Your essay reflects an understanding of the subject matter, showing that you've thought about the implications of global online shopping.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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