Children have too much freedom nowadays. Do you agree or disagree ? Why ?

#children #freedom

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It is

common

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a common

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belief that today children have so much freedom.

However

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, I firmly believe that in some ways it is not a good idea, and they should not be allowed to have lots of it. I totally disagree

that

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with that

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and, I will elaborate on my point of view in the following paragraphs. To start with,

kids

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should be watched in their

behaviors

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behaviours

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because they are so young and they do not know the thing is right or wrong. Under parents' surveillance,

kids

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may not make serious mistakes.

For example

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, fathers or mothers should have to stand in the playground with their

kids

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. If

kids

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get injured, they can deal with it instantly.

That is

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very important. If children have plenty of free

time

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, that will be risky. Who knows what will they do in that period? On top of that,

kids

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usually do not have too much homework to do in the early grades in elementary schools.

As a result

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, they have enough leisure

time

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to do anything they want. Some of them do not go to learn instruments, sports, languages, and so on. They feel so bored all the

time

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Therefore

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, some gangsters think

this

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is good for

recruit

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recruiting

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them to do illegal stuff.

For instance

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, when I was a primary school student, some of my classmates joined a criminal organization. They did some things bad, and several guys were caught by

Correct article usage

the polices

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polices

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police

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. In the end, they were living in a jail. In a nutshell, in order to keep your

kids

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safe, it is vital to deprive some part of their freedom. Another reason is that if they have

time

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they do not how to use it, they may be hired by someone and they could do terrible things.

Thus

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, they should not have a long

time

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for themself.

Submitted by edward300225 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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task response

Be sure to directly answer the question in your introduction to clearly establish your position from the beginning.

task response

Try to develop your main points more thoroughly with explanation and examples. This enhances the clarity and depth of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear structure through the use of paragraphs. Starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence can help guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

To improve cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas.

general

Carefully proofread your essay to correct minor inaccuracies or typographical errors.

task response

You've effectively provided specific examples to support your argument, which strengthens your essay.

coherence cohesion

The inclusion of an introduction and a conclusion helps frame your argument, effectively guiding the reader through your essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Children have too much freedom nowadays. Do you agree or disagree ? Why ?

In many developing countries today, air pollution is a major issue. What are causes and could be taken to prevent this problem in the future?

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages oufweigh the disadvantages?

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