Children have too much freedom nowadays. Do you agree or disagree ? Why ?

#children #freedom

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It is

common

Add an article

a common

show examples

belief that today children have so much freedom.

However

, I firmly believe that in some ways it is not a good idea, and they should not be allowed to have lots of it. I totally disagree

that

Change preposition

with that

show examples

and, I will elaborate on my point of view in the following paragraphs. To start with,

kids

should be watched in their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

because they are so young and they do not know the thing is right or wrong. Under parents' surveillance,

kids

may not make serious mistakes.

For example

, fathers or mothers should have to stand in the playground with their

kids

. If

kids

get injured, they can deal with it instantly.

That is

very important. If children have plenty of free

time

, that will be risky. Who knows what will they do in that period? On top of that,

kids

usually do not have too much homework to do in the early grades in elementary schools.

As a result

, they have enough leisure

time

to do anything they want. Some of them do not go to learn instruments, sports, languages, and so on. They feel so bored all the

time

Therefore

, some gangsters think

this

is good for

recruit

Change the verb form

recruiting

show examples

them to do illegal stuff.

For instance

, when I was a primary school student, some of my classmates joined a criminal organization. They did some things bad, and several guys were caught by

Correct article usage

the polices

show examples

polices

Correct subject-verb agreement

police

show examples

. In the end, they were living in a jail. In a nutshell, in order to keep your

kids

safe, it is vital to deprive some part of their freedom. Another reason is that if they have

time

they do not how to use it, they may be hired by someone and they could do terrible things.

Thus

, they should not have a long

time

for themself.

Submitted by edward300225 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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task response

Be sure to directly answer the question in your introduction to clearly establish your position from the beginning.

task response

Try to develop your main points more thoroughly with explanation and examples. This enhances the clarity and depth of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear structure through the use of paragraphs. Starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence can help guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

To improve cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas.

general

Carefully proofread your essay to correct minor inaccuracies or typographical errors.

task response

You've effectively provided specific examples to support your argument, which strengthens your essay.

coherence cohesion

The inclusion of an introduction and a conclusion helps frame your argument, effectively guiding the reader through your essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Children have too much freedom nowadays. Do you agree or disagree ? Why ?

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is , therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others argue that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both those views and give your opinion.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.