Some people believe that physical fitness of strong individuals and teams is the reason for most sports achievements. Others, however, think that mental attitude is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There are conflicting views regarding whether physical fitness or mental
attitude
is the real key factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
achieving success in
sports
.
This
essay will discuss both sides of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
show examples
and
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
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my own stance.  It is not possible to discuss
sports
without mentioning physical status, at the same time, any form of
sports
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
requires
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
extent of good physical fitness, even the easiest-looking jogging. The strength of muscles and the ability to control
for
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apply
show examples
breath and heart rate,
many
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are many
show examples
physical-related factors that can make one stand out in
competition
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the competition
show examples
.
Hence
, as an
atheles
Correct your spelling
athlete
,
besides
specialized skills, it is definitely essential to have
strong
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a strong
the strong
show examples
physical condition in order to compete with other well-prepared individuals who
also
aiming
Wrong verb form
aim
show examples
for achievements in their domain.
However
,
on the other hand
,
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
mental
attitude
is a crucial element for any kind of
activities
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activity
show examples
,
not to mention
sports
as well. Facing
challenge
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challenging
show examples
career time or accidents is unavoidable for sportsmen. Ignoring what consequences mental
attitude
can result in is a problem. Take the most successful footballer in my opinion, Messi, as an example, in 2014,
losing
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after losing
show examples
the final game of
Correct article usage
the world
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world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
show examples
, he
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
became the one to blame for every
argentinian
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Argentinian
show examples
, with endless harassment and insults.
However
, with
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
mind and dedication he didn't give up and
win
Wrong verb form
won
show examples
back the trophy eight years later,
this
demonstrated the importance of mental status.
Thus
, it is doubtful for a talented
sportman
Correct your spelling
sportsman
sportsmen
who broke down easily to achieve any
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
outcome. In conclusion, from my perspective, both
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
are understandable;
moreover
, these two elements are indeed
inseperable
Correct your spelling
inseparable
.
Therefore
, with
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
certain
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
of physical
finess
Correct your spelling
fitness
and mental
attitude
,
atheles
Correct your spelling
athletes
might be closer and easier to achieve their goals.
Submitted by ihateielts on

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Grammar
Ensure consistent and accurate use of tenses throughout your essay. Mixed tenses can make your argument less clear.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and make your argument more compelling.
Paragraph Structure
Keep your paragraphs well-structured. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
Argument Clarity
Consider including a more explicit thesis statement in your introduction that clearly states your opinion. This helps the reader understand your stance from the beginning.
Content Coverage
You have effectively discussed both views regarding the importance of physical fitness and mental attitude in sports.
Logical Flow
The structure of your essay follows a logical flow, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Example Use
You included relevant examples, such as the story of Messi, which helps support your argument and makes it more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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