IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your local council has decided to close the only park in your town and build a car park in its place. You believe this will have a bad effect on the people who live and work in the town. Write a letter to the mayor. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you think the decision is wrong say what you think the council should do instead You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope you are doing well and in high spirits. I am a resident of your town, Oakville, and I live
on
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at
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 75 Rosedale Lane. The reason behind my letter to you is a recent notice I received from the board of society that they intend to convert the park into a parking lot, considering the fact that more people are buying houses here and the parking area we already have is not enough. I completely understand that the decision was made with careful examination and my intention is not to disrespect it,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 myself and a lot of other residents do not entirely agree with
this
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 decision because the park is the only place we all can conveniently go and relax. It is
also
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 very important for our kids and all the old citizens, without the playground, children would not have any place to play and I hope you can understand that parks play a very crucial role in their life. I firmly believe that removing the part would not be in the favour of anyone living in the area,
therefore
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 I
humble
Change the adjective
humbly
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 request you to not proceed with
this
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 decision. I would suggest adding another floor to the already existing parking area to increase the number of cars that can be parked there. I would really
apprecite
Correct your spelling
appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you look into
this
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 matter. Kind regards, Jahnvi

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that the ideas progress logically from introduction through to the conclusion, while maintaining relevance to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
A cohesive letter would benefit from the use of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The greeting and closing are appropriately formal and polite, which suits the context of writing to a mayor.
task achievement
Your task response is generally good, but try to provide a more detailed recommendation for the situation that would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
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