Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is true that recently, the number of individuals who prefer to use social networks to be in contact with
people
have
been increasing day by day Correct subject-verb agreement
has
instead
of seeing each other on
live. Change preposition
apply
While
this
situation has some positive effects, there are many drawbacks.
First of all, it is well known the fact that social media is an inseparable part of our lives in
these days. Change preposition
apply
The
Correct article usage
People
people
who are in a wide range in terms of their ages use some applications such
as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
on both mobile phones and computers. Correct word choice
and Twitter
Therefore
, many choose to communicate with their social environment via Correct article usage
the internet
internet
because of the Capitalize word
Internet
technologic
opportunities of these apps. Replace the word
technological
For example
, I frequently prefer to chat on Whatsapp
with my friends or share some pictures among us easily or I use Facetime call to see my parents who are living in Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
other city
.
Change the wording
another city
other cities
On the other hand
, there is no doubt that we have experienced not able
to see our closest friends and relatives during the epidemic all over the world in recent years. Add a missing verb
being able
Due to
the fact that there were many restrictions in the countries, persons
did not go out of their homes in order to meet with somebody in an open-air place even as I did. That’s why, we heard on Replace the word
people
tv’s
that psychologies of the Change noun form
TV
people
were getting worse due to
unsocial life style
at home and Correct your spelling
lifestyles
together with
only households.
As
Change preposition
In
a
conclusion, tough social networks have many crucial services to be in contact with Correct article usage
apply
people
and provide access convenience to end users, it
may result in Correct pronoun usage
which
unsocial
and Correct article usage
an unsocial
internet addicted
Add a hyphen
internet-addicted
life style
. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
Thus
, online communication and meeting up with people
face to face should be kept in a
balance.Correct article usage
apply
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure you have a clear stance on the issue throughout your essay. Your introduction indicates a balanced view, but your conclusion leans towards highlighting more negative effects. Clarify your position in the introduction to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, try to provide more balanced argumentation. While you've mentioned both advantages and disadvantages of socializing online, dedicating a bit more detail to the positive aspects could strengthen your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to separate your ideas. You've done well in structuring your essay into paragraphs, but ensuring each paragraph focuses solely on one main idea will make your essay even clearer.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples, such as using Whatsapp or Facetime, which gives your argument a solid basis and helps the reader understand your point better. Good job!
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your essay, presenting and summarizing your arguments in a clear manner.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
