IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The number of internet users around the world has risen from just under two billion in 2010 to over five billion today. That is a rise from around 28% of the global population being online to almost 65%. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#internet #users #world #two #billion #five #rise #population #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past decade, the proliferation of
internet
Use synonyms
 usage worldwide has been nothing short of remarkable, skyrocketing from under two billion users in 2010 to over five billion today.
This
Linking Words
 surge translates to an increase from approximately 28% to nearly 65% of the global population being connected to the online realm.
While
Linking Words
 some may argue that
this
Linking Words
 exponential growth
harbors
Change the spelling
harbours
show examples
 negative implications, it is my firm contention that the expansion of
internet
Use synonyms
 access signifies an overwhelmingly positive development for humanity. Primarily, the widespread adoption of the
internet
Use synonyms
 fosters unparalleled connectivity, transcending geographical and cultural boundaries. Individuals from diverse backgrounds can now effortlessly communicate, collaborate, and exchange ideas in
real-time
Correct your spelling
real time
show examples
, thereby enriching cross-cultural understanding and global cooperation.
This
Linking Words
 interconnectedness has facilitated the dissemination of knowledge and information, empowering people with educational resources, online courses, and platforms for self-improvement regardless of their socioeconomic status or geographic location.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 serves as a catalyst for economic empowerment and entrepreneurship, particularly in developing regions. By bridging the gap between producers and consumers through e-commerce platforms, aspiring entrepreneurs can establish businesses with minimal capital, tapping into a global market and creating job opportunities within their communities.
This
Linking Words
 democratization of commerce not only stimulates economic growth but
also
Linking Words
 fosters innovation and creativity, driving sustainable development and poverty alleviation efforts worldwide.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 democratizes access to information, thereby enhancing transparency and accountability within societies. Social media platforms and online news outlets provide a platform for citizens to voice their concerns, hold governments and institutions accountable, and advocate for social justice and human rights.
This
Linking Words
 newfound transparency cultivates democratic values, fosters civic engagement, and facilitates the exchange of diverse perspectives, ultimately strengthening democratic institutions and civil society. In conclusion, the exponential growth of
internet
Use synonyms
 usage represents a transformative force for good, facilitating global connectivity, economic empowerment, and societal progress.
While
Linking Words
 challenges
such
Linking Words
 as digital inequality and online misinformation persist, the
overall
Linking Words
 impact of
internet
Use synonyms
 proliferation on humanity is undeniably positive, heralding a more interconnected, informed, and empowered global community.
Submitted by edward300225 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, integrating more specific examples and data to support your arguments could further strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
For greater coherence and cohesion, ensure the smooth transition between paragraphs through varied and nuanced connective phrases.
logical structure
Your essay demonstrates a strong, logical structure that makes your argument easy to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing your discussion and summarizing the key points.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported, making your argument persuasive and compelling.
complete response
You have fully engaged with the task, offering a clear, comprehensive discussion on the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are articulated clearly and persuasively, showcasing a deep understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: