people today find their lives more and more dominated by their jobs To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #lives #jobs

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Nowadays, the development of

tecnology

Correct your spelling

technology

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

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people

's life easier but

also

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

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people

's living

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

The technologies

Correct article usage

Technologies

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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can do almost everything that human can do,

thus

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competition

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between

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human and technology

driven

Add a missing verb

has driven

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a lot of

people

to improve themself to prevent technologies take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job from them.

Technologly

Correct your spelling

Technology

can

finished

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finish

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something very fast, which

made

Wrong verb form

makes

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us more impatient. The company need a high

poductivity

Correct your spelling

productivity

to finish their work dominated

enployee

Correct your spelling

employee

employees

to take longer working hours.

In addition

, a high living cost

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

without

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apply

show examples

goverment's

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goverment

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support

encoraging

Correct your spelling

encourage

people

to get more than one job

beacuse

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because

if they want

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

life quality they want more money.

Submitted by somjutar.ops on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Topic Focus

Please ensure you clearly address the given topic about whether you agree or disagree that people’s lives are dominated by their jobs. The focus seems to shift to technology's impact, which dilutes the main point.

Structural Improvement

For a stronger structure, include a clear introduction with a thesis statement, body paragraphs that develop your main points, and a conclusion that summarizes your stance.

Coherence enhancement

Work on the coherence of your essay by ensuring a logical flow of ideas. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Use of Examples

Try to use real-life examples that directly support your arguments. This makes your essay more persuasive and relevant.

Grammar & Spelling Fix

Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure clarity in your writing. For example, it's 'technology', not 'tecnology', and 'employee', not 'enployee'.

Engagement with Ideas

You have effectively recognized the importance of technology’s impact on employment, which shows your ability to engage with complex ideas.

Argument Development

You've attempted to develop your arguments by mentioning key issues such as increased living costs and competition with technology, which is a good approach.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

106 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dominated
encroaching
leisure activities
continuous availability
productivity
remote and hybrid work models
blurs the boundaries
accessible
employment insecurity
gig economy
work-life balance
flexibility
automation
decrease workloads

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people today find their lives more and more dominated by their jobs To what extent do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Economic growth is one way to measure a country's success, but what else should we look at? which do you think is the most important?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.