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Band 5

Some people say that all popular TV entertainment programmes should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #tv #entertainment #programmes #aim #viewers
Some individuals think that all famous TV shows should
pursuit
Replace the word
pursue
show examples
 to give information to their watchers about significant social
problems
.
This
 essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe that social
problems
 should be discussed during news or interviews with special guests to take
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 seriously,
also
 it would be stressful for people
think
Fix the infinitive
to think
show examples
 about important issues after their working day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
thing they
want-just
Correct your spelling
want- just
 relax. Social issues
such
 as environmental causes of overpollution or juvenile crimes should be discussed during TV news or serious interviews with the specialists of
this
 sphere
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because people can’t take it seriously
while
 they are watching stand-up shows or comedy battles.
For example
,
me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
 and my husband are fond of the stand-up show with Azamat Musagaliev, where he always
mentiones
Correct your spelling
mentioned
mentions
 so terrible
problems
 of all countries like corruption or poor condition of our villages, but we’ve never thought seriously about these issues
while
 we are just
laughting
Correct your spelling
laughing
 at his jokes.
In addition
, in my opinion, we are living in a cruel world, full of stress and trouble, and everyone should have a time when they can just relax and think nothing.
According to
 the recent
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, serious illnesses like cancer or heart attack are the result of stress and nervous tension. Every individual has a right to watch entertainment programs after his working day without
aspecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
there
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 social
problems
 of our planet. In conclusion, I want to say that I am
supporter
Add an article
a supporter
show examples
 of
belief
Correct article usage
the belief
show examples
, that every TV programme has its own direction and theme, which has its own viewers with the right
of choosing
Change preposition
to choose
show examples
 what they want to watch.
Submitted by perizatyelemessova on

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Sentence Variety
Try to use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.
Support Examples
Consider providing more diverse examples to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Addressing Prompt
Ensure you directly address the prompt in your introduction to make your stance clear from the beginning.
Structure
You maintained a clear structure throughout the essay, with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.
Clear Stance
Your essay presented a clear stance against the statement which helps in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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