Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

In the contemporary era,
people
tend to maintain relations with their friends and acquaint themselves with the
news
through socializing platforms available over the internet. I think its advantages are far more appealing than the disadvantages
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will be examined
further
in
this
essay.
To begin
with, social
media
is much more interactive than print
media
or any other communication
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
of the past decades. At
first,
these are convenient and speedy ways through which information can be analyzed and
news
can be heard. As compared to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
, the
media
was slower in the past and only provided
news
on the next day of the incident which reduces the urgency of the issue.
However
, these days
news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
spread
so quickly on the internet that it demonstrates the urgency and even
people
take necessary actions to avoid future consequences of any negative
news
.
For instance
, nowadays, during the epidemic of
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
,
people
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
provided with safety measures to prevent the
spread
which was not possible during
bygone
Correct article usage
the bygone
show examples
eras of print
media
.
Apart from
this
, the different social networking apps are crucial tools to coordinate with
people
at work.
For instance
,
gmail
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Gmail
show examples
helps to convey
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
messages to different
people
at work or even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal messages which are quicker than
mails
Fix the agreement mistake
mail
show examples
or postal letters.
On the contrary
, some of the disadvantages could affect the
overall
positive impact of these platforms. One
such
shortcoming is
spread
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
of negative
news
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a speedy way which can result in numerous
bad
Correct word choice
negative
show examples
effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To illustrate it, the
news
of discrimination
with
Change preposition
against
show examples
a black man turned into riots and the
spread
of information too fast became problematic to the general public.
Consequently
, in some cases, it can face criticism from some sections of society
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
To conclude
, the positive prospects of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
use will continue in the future. The numerous upsides of quick access to knowledge at just one click bring about faith in technology.
Although
, it fails to adhere to
such
results in some situations. In a nutshell, the positive aspects
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the drawbacks of the socializing platforms.
Submitted by Kiran on

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General
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Continue to ensure your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next.
Specific Examples
Using specific examples, as you did with the corona virus epidemic, enhances your argument. Try to incorporate even more specific examples or data to strengthen your points further.
Balance & Detail
In discussing the disadvantages, consider expanding your examples and explanations slightly to provide a more balanced view between the advantages and disadvantages. This will deepen your analysis and potentially enhance your task achievement score.
Grammar & Spelling
Watch out for minor grammatical errors or typos that could slightly distract the reader. Even though these don’t significantly affect your score, refining your proofreading skills could polish your presentation even more.
Argumentation
You've effectively demonstrated the significance of the topic and provided a reasoned argument, which is crucial for both task achievement and coherence.
Transitions & Linking
Your use of transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs contributes to the essay's coherence and flow. This is an excellent practice for ensuring readers can follow your argument easily.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively encapsulate your main points. This strengthens the overall impact of your essay.

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