IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or exercise class. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exercise #class #development
Nowadays, there is a growing trend in many countries towards hiring professional trainers, as opposed to participating in workout classes or sports activities, which are on the decline.
This
 choice is often made
due to
 time constraints and physical limitations.
This
 shift in
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 may have a negative impact on social interaction within society. In today's fast-paced environment, many people are finding it difficult to make time for regular exercise in their daily routines. After a long day at work,
individuals
 are often too tired to engage in physical activity and prefer to relax
instead
. Hiring a private trainer can help address
this
 issue by providing personalized workout
sessions
 that can be scheduled
according to
 the client's availability and motivation.
Moreover
, some
individuals
 face physical challenges
such
 as knee pain or office-related health issues. Traditional exercise classes and gym sports are designed for the general population, which may pose a risk of injury for those with physical limitations. Private training
sessions
 cater to
individuals
 with specific needs, offering tailored exercises to prevent injuries.
For example
,
individuals
 with knee injuries may benefit from water-based workouts in a swimming pool, as the water provides support for their body weight.
However
, one downside of hiring a professional trainer is that it can isolate
individuals
 from social interactions. Private training
sessions
 often take place in exclusive gym facilities, limiting opportunities for socializing with others during workouts. In conclusion,
while
 hiring a professional trainer can help
individuals
 overcome time constraints and physical limitations, it may
also
 lead to reduced social interaction
due to
 the private nature of the
sessions
.
Submitted by baby11mystar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

sentence structure
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and interest.
opinion clarity
Try to explicitly state your opinion on whether the trend is positive or negative in both the introduction and conclusion for a stronger stance.
example use
Effective use of specific examples, such as water-based workouts for individuals with knee injuries, to support your points.
structure
Good job on structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
Successfully addressed both parts of the question: reasons for the trend and its implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: