Business and Money In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People are rewarded with exorbitant
amount
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amounts
show examples
of payments for their
work
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in some of the nations.
While
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some sections of
individuals
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say that
this
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is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
development
but
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apply
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others believe that
this
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practice should be discontinued and the
government
Use synonyms
should regulate the earnings. I reckon that high performers should be rewarded adequately and it
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
not be limited by the
government
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.
To begin
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with, the high paid jobs are done by
the
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apply
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highly qualified
individuals
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who usually gain
such
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kind
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kinds
show examples
of positions after
long
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a long
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time of hard
work
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and determination.
Also
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, their jobs include too much stress and the burden of responsibilities which should be remitted with high salaries.
For example
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, doctors have to go through almost ten years of
contionous
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continuous
effort to gain that degree and qualification to practice in that profession. Eventually,
this
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is the most
sought after
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sought-after
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career because of
such
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charateristics
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characteristics
. If the
government
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will try
Wrong verb form
tries
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to control the salary of
such
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careers
then
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it could lead to demotivation among people to do these jobs. These professions are already lacking
talented
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a talented
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workforce and
this
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regulation could certainly lead to less choosing
such
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fields in the future.
Moreover
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, the employees who are more creative and productive benefit through their expertise and earn more pay than any ordinary worker of the company.
Therefore
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, an individual should be appraised in a timely manner to get promoted to better ranks.
Hence
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, resulting in more pay. Eventually, it promotes
an
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apply
show examples
effective and
qualtitative
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qualitative
quantitative
work
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standards at the workplace. It
also
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encourages employee to earn more skills and contribute to their team which
finally
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contributes to the complete transformation of an organization. So, the governments should not
destablize
Correct your spelling
destabilize
such
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platforms.
To conclude
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, certain
individuals
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are paid better
due to
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their qualifications and expertise in the company they
work
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for.
Hence
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, I reaffirm my opinion that these
individuals
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deserve
such
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kind
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kinds
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of appraisals and should not be controlled by the
government
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.
Submitted by Kiran on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a range of linking phrases effectively to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure variety in your sentence structures to keep the essay engaging and demonstrate your language skills.
task achievement
Consider expanding your examples with more details and specificity to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea you will discuss in each paragraph.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed the essay prompt by discussing both views and giving your opinion, which is a strong aspect of Task Achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow from introduction to conclusion, which enhances its readability and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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