Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While
some claim that children
ought to study
all subjects
in the class at school
, others believe that they are only interested in favourite
subjects
. From my point of view, both of the given arguments have their merits but I would lean toward the former.
On the one hand, one appealing reason why the pupils should study
all subjects
at school
is because of the dramatical requirement of educational qualification and the demand for employment, the pupils currently ought to study
all subjects
in the class in order to broaden their general knowledge. This
is because it is undeniable that studying plays an important role in setting up an advanced career for children
in the future. Owings to this
, the children
ought to study
all subjects
at school
in order to absorb basic insights. After that, they can study
other higher qualifications such
as high school
, and university easily. For example
, The USA, which is the most cutting-edge country in educating students
from the beginning, usually focuses on teaching in class and ultimately becomes a rich country with high-quality human resources.
On the other hand
, other people claim that studying favourite
subjects
will decrease stress for students
and create interesting stimulation in studying. The reason is that it is true that the most favourite
subjects
children
always attract miracles and concentration on studying. In addition
, these favourite
subjects
not only stimulate creative things in studying,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
decreases
stress for the Correct subject-verb agreement
decrease
students
instead
of studying all subjects
. For instance
, In Vietnam, many high schools always encourage their students
to choose their favourite
field from entering the school
to graduating, resulting in a positive classification in the job market.
In conclusion, there are reasons why students
should study
their favourite
subjects
, but in my opinion, studying all subjects
will be a crucial foundation in the life of the student after graduation.Submitted by phuocsang4567 on
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Coherence
Ensure each paragraph presents clear and distinct ideas. While discussing differing views is commendable, bringing out a vivid contrast will enhance clarity.
Task response
Develop your examples further to strengthen your arguments. Specific, real-world instances make your points more persuasive and comprehensible.
Language accuracy
Try to address any grammatical or spelling errors. Occasional mistakes can detract from the overall quality of your essay. Proofreading can help avoid these minor issues.
Content
You've managed a well-balanced discussion of both views, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
Structure
The essay possesses a good logical structure, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Use of examples
Providing examples, such as the education system in the USA and Vietnam, serves well to support your points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.