Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Regarding the growth in technology, the number of kids who have access to these technological sources is increasing rapidly, as a great number of them tend to spend most of their daily
time
on their virtual lives. From my perspective, Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
statement
is the result of upgraded technological Use synonyms
devices
that the companies are providing for individuals. Use synonyms
Although
I find Linking Words
this
Linking Words
statement
to be an extremely negative development for various reasons.
With a comparison between the way of communication by the Use synonyms
last
generations and nowadays, virtual communication is becoming more and more popular every day, as people tend to show more interest in Linking Words
this
way of talking to others and Linking Words
this
made the path for these technology companies to provide and upgrade their Linking Words
devices
. Use synonyms
As a result
, most children are showing more interest in using them than before. Nowadays, a great number of kids own their own smartphones and mostly are using them to communicate with their friends through them which causes them to waste a significantly greater amount of their Linking Words
time
to be involved in their friend's community and not be left behind. Smartphones are now an inseparable part of adolescents' lives. These Use synonyms
devices
, Use synonyms
moreover
, consist of some interesting features Linking Words
such
as the capability of watching movies, playing video games, and reading e-books which seem mesmerising to many youngsters and grab their attention to spend hours on their phones.
In my opinion, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
statement
has various drawbacks. Use synonyms
Firstly
, it is extremely Linking Words
time
-consuming as children may find themselves scrolling through social media for many hours without any reason which will take their Use synonyms
time
that has to be spent outside of the house playing with their friends and doing homework. Use synonyms
On the contrary
, the blue light of these Linking Words
devices
will eventually have a damaging effect on their brain and their ability to think properly, Use synonyms
as well as
their ability to solve problems and deal with difficulties. Linking Words
This
Linking Words
statement
, Use synonyms
furthermore
, may lead youngsters to become unsociable and depressed over Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
For instance
, if a child only speaks to his friends through texting them, he would not be able to express his ideas clearly when it comes to face-to-face communication, which will make him depressed and anxious.
Linking Words
To sum up
, to me, Linking Words
that is
a horrible decision to let the kids use their phones as much as they want to since Linking Words
this
will bring a variety of unforgettable damages Linking Words
while
they are growing up, as Linking Words
this
is the Linking Words
time
when their brains are forming and can have huge drawbacks to their future.Use synonyms
Submitted by mokaddamul on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to include more balanced viewpoints or contrasting examples to enrich the argumentation in your essay.
coherence & cohesion
Ensure to maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the paragraphs.
task achievement
Integrating specific real-world examples or studies can strengthen the argument and make it more compelling.
coherence & cohesion
Consider varying sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.
introduction
Your introduction set the context very well and clearly stated your opinion.
coherence & cohesion
Good use of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your views and restated your stance.
task achievement
You've addressed the key parts of the task and provided a clear stance on the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.