In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can learn.

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Nowadays,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are earning uncountable
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses

It seems that business may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, plenty of
indviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals

If you don’t want indviduals to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

criticize the situation
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

its harm in
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, others advocate that a few
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should
remain
Verb problem
continue

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
earning good
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss both these
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points

It seems that point may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view

It seems that views may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and argue in favour of the letter.
One
Correct your spelling
On

The word One doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the one hand, quite
small
Correct article usage
a small

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of employees do compelling
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work

It seems that works may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in their job area.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

If you don’t want Futhermore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
As a
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

result
Add the comma(s)
result,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter As a result. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
those individuals deserve impressive cash in the job by taking risks and
significiant
Correct your spelling
significant

If you don’t want significiant to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

roles.
Salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a fundamental method for workers in order to proceed logically
their
Change preposition
in their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers

It seems that career may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Was the government lessened their
salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, they would not be motivated
so as
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
to work in the office.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 2018 Spain government amended their rules about
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in jobs. it was observed that a myriad of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

dismissed their work.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
does
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb does appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
earning huge
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

contributes
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people's
Change preposition
to people's

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
focus on their work, and it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

promotes
human's
Change noun form
human

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
life quality. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way criminal issues would have
an
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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downward trend around the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
finance
Correct article usage
the finance

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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system of the country might be exposed by some individuals earning a lot of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Governments could reduce their other contribution
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the environment in order to provide a fund for employees deserving to earn good
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries

It seems that salary may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Correct article usage
the republic
show examples
republic
Capitalize word
Republic

The word republic should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
of Turkey was able to present
their
Correct pronoun usage
its

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
financial circumstance by benefitting from the method.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to reduce
significiant
Correct your spelling
significant

If you don’t want significiant to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries

It seems that salary may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
so as to provide locals
beneficial
Change preposition
with beneficial

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
opportunities. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic

The word economy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
ministry in
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should lessen
amount
Add an article
the amount

The noun phrase amount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific

If you don’t want spesific to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

persons in order to navigate
economic
Correct article usage
the economic

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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source of
country
Add an article
the country

The noun phrase country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
to
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun part. Consider making a change.

show examples
of things. In conclusion, developing
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
extremely
Change the word
extreme

Extremely seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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disadvantages for citizens
becouse
Correct your spelling
because

If you don’t want becouse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of its burden on
economy
Add an article
the economy

The noun phrase economy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
advocate
Change the verb form
advocates

The plural verb advocate does not appear to agree with the singular subject this essay. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
that
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should amend their
precedures
Correct your spelling
procedures

If you don’t want precedures to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to provide locals
good
Change preposition
with good

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
opportunities.

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structure
Try to maintain a clear structure in your essay with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a specific point.
clarity
In your essay, aim for clarity in your argument. At times, it can seem a bit convoluted. Make your stance clear from the beginning and consistently support it throughout.
evidence
Use specific examples to support your arguments. While you mention examples, more detailed and specific cases would strengthen your essay.
accuracy
Watch for grammatical errors and strive for more accuracy in your use of vocabulary. Minor inaccuracies can distract from your argument.
introduction
You effectively introduced the essay topic and provided a stance in the introduction.
balance
The effort to balance both viewpoints before stating your own opinion is appreciated.
examples
You attempted to give examples to support your points, which is great practice.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: