IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people argue that smoking should be banned due to its harmful effects on human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Smoking has long been known to have harmful effects on human
health
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that smoking is a personal choice and should not be restricted, others believe that it poses serious
health
Use synonyms
 risks and should be banned. I strongly agree with the idea of banning smoking because it protects public
health
Use synonyms
 and reduces environmental pollution.
Body · 1
One major reason why smoking should be banned is its harmful impact on
health
Use synonyms
. Cigarette smoking is widely known to cause life-threatening diseases
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer, heart disease, and respiratory problems.
According to
Linking Words
 the World
Health
Use synonyms
 Organization (WHO), smoking accounts for approximately 90% of lung cancer-related deaths worldwide.
In addition
Linking Words
, second-hand smoke increases the risk of respiratory diseases and heart problems for non-smokers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, banning smoking would not only protect smokers from long-term
health
Use synonyms
 issues but
also
Linking Words
 safeguard the
health
Use synonyms
 of those around them.
Body · 2
Another important reason to ban smoking is its positive impact on society and the environment. Public smoking creates discomfort and inconvenience for non-smokers, often leading to social tension.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, cigarette butts are one of the most common forms of environmental pollution, contributing to plastic waste and harming marine life.
For example
Linking Words
, research shows that cigarette filters take years to decompose and are a significant source of ocean pollution.
Therefore
Linking Words
, banning smoking would improve public comfort and promote a cleaner environment.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite arguments about personal freedom, banning smoking is a reasonable and necessary measure to protect public
health
Use synonyms
 and improve the quality of life. The
health
Use synonyms
 and environmental benefits of
such
Linking Words
 a ban far outweigh any potential disadvantages.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments should take firm action to prohibit smoking in public areas and promote healthier lifestyles.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your argument in favor of banning smoking is well-structured and clearly articulated. However, you could benefit from slightly more balanced consideration of the opposing arguments to enhance the depth of your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows smoothly with clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Consider using more varied linking words to further enhance the coherence and link related ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, effectively outlining the health and environmental arguments for banning smoking.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, making a strong case for your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmful effects
  • passive smoking
  • healthcare systems
  • smoking-related illnesses
  • moral responsibility
  • public health
  • smoking cessation programs
  • disease prevention
  • government intervention
  • addiction
  • tobacco industry
  • health awareness
  • legislation
  • regulations
  • personal choice
What to do next:
Look at other essays: