IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people argue that smoking should be banned due to its harmful effects on human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Smoking has long been known to have harmful effects on human
health
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.
While
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 some argue that smoking is a personal choice and should not be restricted, others believe that it poses serious
health
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 risks and should be banned. I strongly agree with the idea of banning smoking because it protects public
health
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 and reduces environmental pollution. One major reason why smoking should be banned is its harmful impact on
health
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. Cigarette smoking is widely known to cause life-threatening diseases
such
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 as lung cancer, heart disease, and respiratory problems.
According to
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 the World
Health
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 Organization (WHO), smoking accounts for approximately 90% of lung cancer-related deaths worldwide.
In addition
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, second-hand smoke increases the risk of respiratory diseases and heart problems for non-smokers.
Therefore
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, banning smoking would not only protect smokers from long-term
health
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 issues but
also
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 safeguard the
health
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 of those around them. Another important reason to ban smoking is its positive impact on society and the environment. Public smoking creates discomfort and inconvenience for non-smokers, often leading to social tension.
Furthermore
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, cigarette butts are one of the most common forms of environmental pollution, contributing to plastic waste and harming marine life.
For example
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, research shows that cigarette filters take years to decompose and are a significant source of ocean pollution.
Therefore
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, banning smoking would improve public comfort and promote a cleaner environment. In conclusion, despite arguments about personal freedom, banning smoking is a reasonable and necessary measure to protect public
health
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 and improve the quality of life. The
health
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 and environmental benefits of
such
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 a ban far outweigh any potential disadvantages.
Therefore
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, governments should take firm action to prohibit smoking in public areas and promote healthier lifestyles.

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Task Achievement
Your argument in favor of banning smoking is well-structured and clearly articulated. However, you could benefit from slightly more balanced consideration of the opposing arguments to enhance the depth of your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows smoothly with clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Consider using more varied linking words to further enhance the coherence and link related ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, effectively outlining the health and environmental arguments for banning smoking.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, making a strong case for your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmful effects
  • passive smoking
  • healthcare systems
  • smoking-related illnesses
  • moral responsibility
  • public health
  • smoking cessation programs
  • disease prevention
  • government intervention
  • addiction
  • tobacco industry
  • health awareness
  • legislation
  • regulations
  • personal choice
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