IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
Some people believe
professionals
,
such
 as doctors and engineers, should
work
 in the same nation where they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
graduated.
In contrast
, others believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
otherwise
 which are
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 may
work
 in other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
due to
 their right to
work
 anywhere.
This
 essay will explain the issue from both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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specialists can
work
 abroad
due to
 its advantages
outweight
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outweigh
outweighs
 the disadvantages.
Professionals
 who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in the same nation where they accomplished the training may be more familiar with local practices including
regulation
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regulations
show examples
,
standard
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standards
show examples
, etc.
For example
,
doctor
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a doctor
the doctor
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 who graduated in tropical
countries
 should be more familiar with specific diseases than
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
 who graduated from non-tropical
countries
 or vice versa.
Additionally
, the doctors can communicate easily with the patients
due to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 familiarity with the culture. As
result
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a result
show examples
,
this
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these
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 circumstances are more effective and efficient.
On the other hand
, specialists who
work
 in another country can address the demand of the requirements from the destination country. For
instances
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instance
show examples
,
the
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apply
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developing
countries
 require more
specialist
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specialists
show examples
 and
expert
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experts
show examples
 rather than developed
countries
,
such
 as
doctor
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doctors
show examples
.
Furthermore
, developed
countries
 established more experts. As
result
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a result
show examples
, it may fill the demand of developing
countries
.
Moreover
, it can be a platform for
transfering
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transferring
 skills and expertise especially
inovation
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innovation
 and technology from developed
countries
. In
conculsion
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conclusion
,
professionals
 who
work
 in foreign
country
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countries
show examples
 can address the demand and transfer skills and expertise.
In addition
, the
professionals
 should accomplish the additional training to ensure their knowledge about the regulations, standards, practices,
even
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and even
show examples
 languages and
culture
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cultures
show examples
 of destination
countries
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary
Broaden the range of vocabulary for more effective expression; avoid repetition of simpler words.
Grammar
Review grammatical agreement and tense usage to enhance clarity and accuracy.
Content Depth
Consider expanding your discussion with more specific examples and deeper analysis on how the transfer of skills and expertise can impact both the home and host countries.
Introduction Clarity
Include a brief statement in the introduction about the advantages outweighing the disadvantages to provide a clearer overview of your argument.
Structure
Good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Argument Analysis
Effective use of contrast to discuss the different perspectives on the issue.
Example Relevance
Inclusion of relevant examples, such as the specialization of doctors in tropical diseases, which supports your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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