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Band 7.5

as the world population increases, genetically modified crops are becoming essential to meet rising demands for food. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #population #increases #crops #demands #food
It is apparent that
food
 is one of humans' basic needs,
therefore
 no other humans can
be survived
Wrong verb form
survive
show examples
 without eating.
As a result
, many people agree that genetically modified
crops
 will play an important role in meeting an increased number of
food
 demands, since the growth of the world population.
While
 it is true that genetically modifying
crops
 may cause negative effects in some aspects,
however
, there are
also
 many positive effects that these
crops
 could bring about. Genetically modifying
crops
 in the present day holds the potential to address many environmental challenges that impact agricultural productivity. With issues
such
 as water scarcity, soil nutrition deficiency, and unpredictable weather conditions becoming stronger, by altering the genes, the
crops
 will be more resilient and better equipped to survive in tough conditions.
Additionally
, genetic modification can improve the nutritional value of the
crops
.
This
 means that the world can have larger and more secure
food
 supplies, providing people with healthier and more nutritious
food
 options. Human health
also
 greatly benefits from the possibilities opened up by genetically modifying
crops
 for the production of vaccines and medicine. By adding specific genes to
crops
,
this
 can help to create medical more easily and in an efficient way.
Consequently
, people in areas with limited resources can get the medical help they need, which can improve their lives and reduce health inequalities. In conclusion, changing
crops
 through genetic modification is beneficial and helpful because it helps meet the increasing demand for
food
 with a growing population. It
also
 plays a role in producing medicines that promote human health and well-being.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to address both sides of the argument more explicitly, if discussing a 'to what extent' topic, to fully meet the task requirement.
Task Achievement
Consider including more specific examples to support your statements and strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Remember to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly for better flow.
Language
Review your essay for minor grammatical inaccuracies to enhance clarity and professionalism.
Coherence and Cohesion
Expressed a clear thesis statement and concluded your essay effectively, providing a strong framework.
Task Achievement
You've done well in discussing the benefits of genetically modified crops, providing a solid argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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