IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With a growing worls population one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such large number of people. Some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#worls #population #people #gm #foods #offer
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Overpopulation has been a debatable and ever-increasing issue worldwide leading to negative impacts
through
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in
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 many fields, mainly famine and exponential growth in
denutrition
Correct article usage
the denutrition
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 rate. Some scientists
arise
Verb problem
argue
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 that Genetically Modified (GM) foods
is
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are
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 the best solution to struggle against
this
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 situation,
while
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 many others argue that it will not solve the hunger
that is
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 suffered by millions of
people
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. I partially agree with
this
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 statement, and in
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I am
explaing
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explaining
 both points of view. To start with, genetically engineered food has been widely researched in order to improve not only quality but
also
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 speed of production and durability.
For
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this
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 reason,
differents
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different
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 techniques
such
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 as DNA and RNA modifications
has
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have
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 been proposed.
For example
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,
vegetables
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vegetable
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 crops have been changed to avoid seeds inside them and to
remaind
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remain
remind
 as fresh as possible for many weeks.
Besides
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, these modifications could prevent
growing
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the growth of
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 microorganisms in the goods.
However
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, hunger is not only a problem related to
quantities
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the quantities
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 of food that are produced
,
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apply
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 but
also
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a social difficulty because some
people
Use synonyms
 do not have access to buy them. It is one of the main misfortune across third-world countries where
people
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 do not have enough resources to buy and distribution is
inequal
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unequal
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.
For example
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, in Colombia, many
people
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 live under impoverished conditions in which their families cannot be fed
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of stipends.
On the other hand
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, these techniques must be deeply studied because mutations and impacts in our genetic material are unknown.
To sum up
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, there have been created cutting-edge techniques to deal with feeding obstacles.
Nevertheless
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, many
others
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other
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 factors should be evaluated because humanity
have
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has
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 to face
with
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apply
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social inequality, poverty and scarcity.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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structure
Ensure every paragraph contributes effectively to the argument by developing a single idea further. The second paragraph could be enhanced by directly linking the scientific research on GM foods to how it could potentially address global hunger.
examples
Introduce more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. While you mention Colombia as an example, incorporating statistics or outcomes of GM food programs could have made your essay more persuasive.
accuracy
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical accuracy, although minor errors do not significantly impede understanding. For example, 'remaind' should be 'remain' and 'inequal' should be 'unequal'
introduction conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, presenting a clear thesis statement and summarizing your points well in the conclusion.
topic understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic by discussing both benefits and concerns regarding GM foods in addressing global hunger.
logical flow
You successfully maintain a logical flow throughout your essay, using cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together.
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