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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #salary #factor #company #work #atmosphere
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Some individuals in our society support the view that the amount of wage they would earn is the most precious case
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while
Correct word choice
when
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 selecting a
job
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.
However
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,others believe that being satisfied with the
job
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 they do and enjoying the working environment is much more important. On the one hand, we can't ignore the fact that in our current world, the most significant thing is financial
statu
Correct your spelling
status
 and in order the make a huge amount of salary you must choose your
job
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 carefully.The main reason for
that is
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, recently since the inflation is increasing in many countries people are worrying about affording their major needs.
Therefore
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, it is commonly seen that even though some people
is
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are
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 not pleased with the
place
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 they work most of them continue to work in those places because they have to look after their families and provide them with qualified living standards.
On the other hand
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, a massive amount of individual thinks that the salary you make is not the first thing you have to look at
while
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 choosing the company you want to work.İn their view,
instead
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 of working in a
job
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 that you are unsatisfied with and not actually suit on your personality, you can be in a
place
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 where you can make great contacts with other employees.İn that case, despite the money that you make that person can feel more valuable and experience unforgettable moments in that
place
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. İn conclusion, both cases can be significant
while
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 selecting the business
place
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, but in my personal opinion looking
to
Change preposition
at
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 the budget you earn is more sensible because nowadays all the basic products and foods have become enormously expensive.
As a result
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, if you want to live a unworried life with your loved ones you must have to earn the best possible salary you can.
Submitted by muratberkel on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a topic sentence and flows logically to the next. You have a basic structure, but it could be more cohesive to improve readability.
task achievement
Support your arguments with relevant examples. This helps in making your main points more convincing and thorough.
task achievement
The essay competently presents both sides of the debate, addressing the topic and offering an opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly frame the discussion, providing a good overview and a clear personal stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • priority
  • financial stability
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • aspirations
  • positive work environment
  • team dynamics
  • productivity
  • creativity
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • personal opinion
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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