IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that technology has led to many positive developments in their lives, while others think technology is gradually taking over control of the way people live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Really,there are positive and negative
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about
Add an article
the
show examples
impact of
technology
Use synonyms
 on their lives.some
people
Use synonyms
 think smart
life
Use synonyms
 has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect on their
habitance
Correct your spelling
habitants
habitant
 because they can do
soeasy
Correct your spelling
so easy
 their work and daily routines . I can not live
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer , it
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 for my comfort and access easy
Change preposition
to
show examples
everything’s
Unnecessary verb
everything
show examples
 for myself. There are different
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 that you can
observation
Replace the word
observe
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your
life
Use synonyms
.a simple example is smart phone
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 the phone
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 pay money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 buy something ,play
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
,
connection
Replace the word
connect
show examples
,
use
Use synonyms
 social media , research
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everything and
meeting
Replace the word
meet
show examples
,
even
Correct pronoun usage
We even
show examples
 you can watch the newest movie and read a book
.so
Correct your spelling
so
 we can utilization you will have the most comfortable
life
Use synonyms
 with
technology
Use synonyms
furthermore
Linking Words
 you can save a time .in fact , we can improve and optimize our
life
Use synonyms
. Scientists
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 establishes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Add an article
a robot
show examples
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
show examples
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
,
nursing
Correct word choice
and nursing
show examples
 from older or
use
Use synonyms
 AI that
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 investigate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everything’s
Unnecessary verb
everything
show examples
 in the world
while
Linking Words
 all the information has
update
Change the verb form
updated
show examples
 or make a car that
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 drive without a driver that it
is incredibly reduce
Change the verb form
incredibly reduces
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 so
technology
Use synonyms
is benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and will be.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 has an equally damaging effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
life
Use synonyms
.effective
such
Linking Words
 as,they will have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
direct connection with
people
Use synonyms
 , maybe it has a destructive impression on their brain,they like to put in isolation,the human
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
 exercise and day to day their becomes lazier but everything
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
in dependent
Correct your spelling
independent
show examples
 on their personality . In fact,if
people
Use synonyms
 can not
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 the best way,it is their problem because if you can manage your personality,you can exploit everything in the worst
condishion
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
.so
technology
Use synonyms
 is perfect if you want.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with separate paragraphs for the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion. This will enhance readability and coherence.
clarity & flow
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make the main idea clear to the reader and to improve the flow of your essay.
grammar & style
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and work on using a variety of sentence structures to improve your score.
vocabulary
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary appropriately to express your thoughts more accurately and effectively.
conclusion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes the discussion and states your personal viewpoint clearly and succinctly.
understanding
You've shown an understanding of the topic by discussing both sides of the argument regarding technology's impact on our lives.
examples
You provided concrete examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: