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Band 5

Some claim newspapers are the best means to get the most recent information because they have more influence than other forms of media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#newspapers #information #influence #forms #media
Some believe that
newspapers
 are the best option for staying updated with the latest news.
However
, I believe the opposite. In my opinion, social
media
 and mobile applications are faster and have more influence on people rather than social
media
. On the one hand,
newspapers
 have been a traditional and the most effective way of transferring knowledge for decades. Whilst technology has taken over it. To exemplify, 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the total population in India currently uses smartphones.
Thus
, these smartphones are the primary source for an individual to consume information,
Such
 as news, songs, movies, trends, etc.
On the other hand
, a report by the Times of India in 2021 suggests that an average person spends around 6 hours on their mobile phones browsing. Since the use of mobile phones has significantly increased, it has
also
 affected the demand for
newspapers
 in the country.
Consequently
, there are less number of newspaper readers in the world because of the adoption of technology.
However
, the older generation still prefers reading
newspapers
, but the use of it has plummeted significantly.
To conclude
, even though
newspapers
 are a reliable source of information, they are not the most influential form of
media
.
Lastly
, we can say that technology has taken over the
media
 industry by reducing the use of old traditional methods.
Submitted by avesh1409 on

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Examples
Although your ideas are clear, try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
Grammar & Accuracy
Be mindful of small inaccuracies like repeated phrases or slight grammatical slips. They slightly divert from the clarity of your argument.
Structure
Your essay structure is good. However, enhancing transitions between paragraphs could make your argument flow more seamlessly.
Argument Depth
Consider exploring both sides of the argument in a more balanced way to enhance the depth of your analysis.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, nicely framing your argument.
Understanding of Topic
You've aptly recognized the importance of technology in disseminating information today.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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