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Band 7.5

Not enough students around the world choose to study a science subject at university. what are the reasons for this? what impact does this issue have on society?

#students #world #study #science #university #impact #society
Science
 opens up a wide range of possibilities for
students
' future, including employment. Currently,
however
, some
students
 do not take
science
classes
 in college.
This
 essay will discuss why they tend not to take
science
classes
 and the problems caused by
this
 trend. Many
students
 do not take
science
classes
 because they use a lot of numbers and figures and require them to use their brains. The fact that many
students
 are not good with numbers means that there are more of them than the government assumes.
In addition
 to
this
 result, there are many phenomena and terms that learners have to memorize, which takes them away from the subject. For college
students
 who must work part-time and engage in a variety of studies, it is obvious that they spend a lot of time memorizing many terms. At
such
 times, some challenges to society arise. In recent years, there have been a number of events that have caused enormous damage to people and the environment.
In addition
, the fact of high temperatures
due to
 global warming makes the environment unpleasant not only for humans but
also
 for the lives of other organisms. If the number of scientists decreases, diseases that could be prevented academically will not be prevented. New discoveries by scientists will dramatically change people's lives. In conclusion,
students
 should take
classes
 in scientific research and hope that more people will become scientists because of what they learn in college.
Science
 is certainly one of the disciplines needed to solve environmental problems.
Submitted by takeru1626 on

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detail-specificity
Work on providing more concrete and diversified examples to support your points. This can enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your arguments.
sentence-structure
Consider refining the complexity and variety of sentence structures to improve the readability and sophistication of your text.
task-response
The essay tackles both parts of the question, discussing reasons for the lack of interest in science studies and the impact on society.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly defined, setting a good structure for the essay.
logic-cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is maintained throughout with adequate support for the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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