In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

The rising

retirement

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age

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in many countries presents a complex issue with both advantages and disadvantages.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both sides of

this

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argument before concluding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One key advantage of raising the

retirement

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age

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is its potential to alleviate workforce shortages. In an era of increasing global population and a large number of young graduates entering the job market, extending working lives can create more job opportunities for younger generations.

Furthermore

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, a larger workforce provides governments with a greater pool of human resources, boosting economic productivity.

Additionally

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, a gradual transition into

retirement

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allows older

workers

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some time to adjust to a less demanding lifestyle after years of hard work.

However

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, raising the

retirement

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age

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also

Linking Words

presents significant challenges. Many countries have observed negative consequences, including a potential increase in unemployment among older

workers

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This

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can lead to difficulties for both the private and public sectors, creating staff shortages and impacting productivity. The loss of experienced senior employees, whose expertise and years of accumulated knowledge are invaluable, is another significant drawback. Even if younger

workers

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fill these positions, there will be an inevitable gap in experience and institutional knowledge. In conclusion,

while

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raising the

retirement

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age

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offers benefits

such

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as increased job opportunities and a larger workforce, the potential negative impacts on employment and the loss of experienced personnel are considerable. Based on my understanding, the advantages do not definitively outweigh the disadvantages. A more nuanced approach, perhaps incorporating phased

retirement

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or retraining programs for older

workers

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, might be necessary to mitigate the downsides

while

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still reaping the benefits of an extended working life.

bandoory1996Tue Apr 29 2025

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Task Achievement

While the content is relevant and appropriately addresses the task, it could be enhanced by including specific examples or data to support your main points more concretely. Consider incorporating statistics or studies that illustrate the impact of a raised retirement age on both workforce shortages and experienced employee retention.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay flows well, with clear logical progression between paragraphs. However, to improve coherence, consider using more varied linking phrases between your ideas, which would help to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and states the main argument, which sets a strong foundation for the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made and reinforces the writer's stance, providing a good closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
pension systems
financial pressure
economic growth
workforce
retirement savings
skills and knowledge transfer
job opportunities
health challenges
work-life balance
societal resistance
burnout
productivity
well-being

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Fully explain your ideas

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