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Band 0.5

Some people think that sport or work may help people to deal with some problems

#people #sport #work
Potential flow activities
such
 as sports or work may help
people
 escape thinking about their problems, but
people
 engage in
such
 activities mainly to feel personally fulfilled. The difference is between escaping and engaging. Sometimes
people
 choose to escape the self rather than engage with life: to forget their troubles, they drink alcohol, take drugs, play video games, watch television, surf the Web, text, and so on. The selective appeal of escapist entertainment is that it distracts
people
 from reflecting on their problems or their failures, thereby helping them avoid feeling bad about themselves. Отправить сообщение
Submitted by Kanapiaulydoshan on

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Introduction
Introduce your essay with a more detailed overview, specifying how sports or work might be both an escape and a way to engage with problems.
Conclusion
Try to incorporate a conclusion that summarizes the main points of your discussion and your stance on the issue.
Examples
Enhance your essay by adding specific examples that illustrate how sports or work function as methods of dealing with problems.
Organization
Improve the organization of your essay by clearly delineating between paragraphs for different ideas or aspects of the argument.
Originality
The essay introduces an interesting perspective on engagement versus escapism in dealing with problems, which can be a sound basis for a strong argument.
Language
Your choice of language effectively conveys your ideas, maintaining the reader's interest throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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