IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your ow

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There are two views about
communication
Use synonyms
 in
society
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children
Change preposition
with children
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,
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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view
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parents
Add a missing verb
is parents
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 should teach
communication
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 in
society
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 young
people
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, second
view
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Use synonyms
school
Add a missing verb
is school
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 should give knowledge
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communication
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of communication
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 in
society
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kids
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. In my opinion,
children
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 learn
communication
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 in
society
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, when they see
for
Change preposition
apply
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adult
people
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. The
first
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view
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think
Verb problem
is
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 that
parents
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 should teach social
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities to
show examples
 their
kids
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. When
child
Correct article usage
a child
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 give ability to see, the
first
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 that he
see
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sees
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
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parents
Correct pronoun usage
his parents
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. So many
people
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 believe that
children
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 learn
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Fix the infinitive
to communication
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communication
Replace the word
communicate
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whit
Correct your spelling
with
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other
Add the comma(s)
, other
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people
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they see for
parents
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 in
different
Add an article
a different
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, when
father
Correct article usage
the father
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give
Change the verb form
gives
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 flowers mother or
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 to cook
diner
Replace the word
dinner
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.
Child
Correct article usage
The child
show examples
 see
this
Linking Words
 situation and
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
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 that it
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to
do
Wrong verb form
be done
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whit
Correct your spelling
with
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lover
Correct article usage
a lover
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 person. That’s why
people
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 think that
parents
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 are the best
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 for
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
knowledge
communication
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 in
society
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.
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
view
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that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should teach
communication
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 in
society
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children
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. When young
people
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 go to
school
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, they should learn to speak
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 different
people
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. That’s why
people
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 believe,
kids
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 learn to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 of
society
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 in
school
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
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 and
boy
Fix the agreement mistake
boys
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 fight and they should come to an agreement peacefully. In
this
Linking Words
 situation help their teacher. So some
people
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 think that
school
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 is the best place
for
Change preposition
to
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 give social
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
 ( in conclusion) the
first
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 group think that
parents
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 teach social activity
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children
Change preposition
to children
show examples
 and
second
Change the article
the second
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 group believe
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 teach
kids
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 it. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 teach
communication
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 in
social
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
young
people
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 born.

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Sentence structure diversity
Try to use a wider range of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. This can include complex sentences and varied conjunctions.
Use of examples
Work on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points. Concrete examples make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Essay structure
It's beneficial to clearly outline both views before stating your personal opinion. Make sure your introduction briefly mentions what you will discuss.
Grammar and spelling
Make an effort to proofread your writing for small grammatical errors or typos. These corrections can significantly improve the clarity of your essay.
Coverage of both views
You've done well in discussing both sides of the argument, which is key for this type of essay.
Effective conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made throughout the essay, giving a clear stance on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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