IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the amounts of money used for space exploration are not justified. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People tend to think that scientists wasting money on exploring the
planet
Use synonyms
 systems, rather than exploring the
planet
Use synonyms
 we live on.
Also
Linking Words
, space exploration is not done easily it needs huge investments to discover the things that are far beyond our solar system.
However
Linking Words
, these discoveries can bring a lot of solutions to current issues on earth and the resources in the form of money should not be questioned.
For example
Linking Words
, climate change is destroying some parts of the earth and nobody knows what consequences
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 holds. In
this
Linking Words
 matter, space discoveries might offer us a better place to occupy , but beforehand some
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
 has to be done.
Use synonyms
Planet
Correct article usage
The planet
show examples
 system holds a lot of unknown secrets , we might have been missing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of advances in technology.
For example
Linking Words
, we still do not know whether there are any other
planet
Use synonyms
 systems than the solar system.
This
Linking Words
 information might help us to contact with more advanced living forms and cause
overall
Linking Words
 development in all spheres.
For example
Linking Words
, other than climate issues , we
also
Linking Words
 have some deadly viruses which can cause
epidemias
Correct your spelling
epidemics
, in
this
Linking Words
 term more advanced “aliens” might help us to combat by bringing their technology. In conclusion, space investments are justified for the solutions
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 might give us
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming and lack of technological advances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a unique perspective on space exploration and its potential benefits. To improve coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your ideas more clearly. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that outlines the main idea you will discuss.
Task Achievement
You've incorporated examples to support your points, which is great. However, more detailed explanation of these examples and how they directly relate to the thesis could enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as these can impact the flow and clarity of your argument. Proofreading your essay can help to minimize these inaccuracies.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed the topic and provided a reasoned argument, demonstrating your ability to tackle complex issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion succinctly wraps up your argument, showing you understand the importance of a coherent wrap-up to an essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: