The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What do you think? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#computers #society #support #arguments #evidence

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In contemporary

society

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, the usage of

computers

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has become increasingly prominent. Some argue that electronic devices have benefited various aspects of daily living,

whereas

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some believe it gives rise to excessive screen time and addiction. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view.

However

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this

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essay aims to analyse the benefits and drawbacks of

this

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phenomenon. One paramount

benefit

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of technology is the unparalleled convenience it offers

various

Change preposition

for various

show examples

aspects of daily living.

For instance

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, Medicare Hospital has utilized

computers

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their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

workplace, which can be especially beneficial during complex operations.

Moreover

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, Artificial Intelligence can enhance learning for students, making information more interesting and easy to obtain.

Furthermore

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due to

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technology, people are able to communicate over long distances through apps.

Hence

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, it is evident that

computers

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have the potential to

benefit

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modern

society

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in numerous ways. Despite

this

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, one momentous concern is the heightened risk of overuse.

For example

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, a recent study conducted by AI Future revealed that 35% of individuals are spending too much time interacting with

computers

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Furthermore

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, it is imperative to consider that excessive screen time can cause momentous health risks

such

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as eye impairments and bad posture.

In addition

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this

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trend can

also

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cause someone to get addicted.

Thus

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, it is notable that electronic devices have drawbacks. In conclusion,

while

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it is noted that

computers

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can

benefit

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society

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, they can

also

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cause health risks. It is my opinion that the advantages of

computers

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far outweigh the disadvantages. If

computers

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continue to advance,

then

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they will

benefit

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society

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in the foreseeable future.

Submitted by jessicajreichel on Mon Apr 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Great job on constructing a well-organized essay. Each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, smoothly leading into supportive arguments and examples.

task achievement

Your examples and evidence, such as the mention of Medicare Hospital and the study by AI Future, significantly strengthen your argument. Providing such specific instances adds credibility to your claims.

coherence cohesion

While your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay and reiterates your stance, consider expanding on the implications or potential future developments to enrich your closing remarks.

task achievement

To further enhance your essay, consider adding a counterargument paragraph where you acknowledge the opposing view more deeply before refuting it. This could provide a more balanced perspective and further showcase your argumentative skills.

coherence cohesion

Effectively organized essay structure

task achievement

Use of specific examples and evidence

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion reinforcing your stance

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

254 words

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The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What do you think? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

oos are sometimes seen as necessary but poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos as an IELTS topic and give your own opinion.

Animal testing has a positive impact on scientific research, but it can have a negative effect on animals and lead to financial waste. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of animal experimentation.

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?