The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What do you think? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary
society
Use synonyms
, the usage of
computers
Use synonyms
has become increasingly prominent. Some argue that electronic devices have benefited various aspects of daily living,
whereas
Linking Words
some believe it gives rise to excessive screen time and addiction. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay aims to analyse the benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
phenomenon. One paramount
benefit
Use synonyms
of technology is the unparalleled convenience it offers
various
Change preposition
for various
show examples
aspects of daily living.
For instance
Linking Words
, Medicare Hospital has utilized
computers
Use synonyms
in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
workplace, which can be especially beneficial during complex operations.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Artificial Intelligence can enhance learning for students, making information more interesting and easy to obtain.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
technology, people are able to communicate over long distances through apps.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is evident that
computers
Use synonyms
have the potential to
benefit
Use synonyms
modern
society
Use synonyms
in numerous ways. Despite
this
Linking Words
, one momentous concern is the heightened risk of overuse.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent study conducted by AI Future revealed that 35% of individuals are spending too much time interacting with
computers
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is imperative to consider that excessive screen time can cause momentous health risks
such
Linking Words
as eye impairments and bad posture.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend can
also
Linking Words
cause someone to get addicted.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is notable that electronic devices have drawbacks. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
it is noted that
computers
Use synonyms
can
benefit
Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
, they can
also
Linking Words
cause health risks. It is my opinion that the advantages of
computers
Use synonyms
far outweigh the disadvantages. If
computers
Use synonyms
continue to advance,
then
Linking Words
they will
benefit
Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
in the foreseeable future.
Submitted by jessicajreichel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Great job on constructing a well-organized essay. Each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, smoothly leading into supportive arguments and examples.
task achievement
Your examples and evidence, such as the mention of Medicare Hospital and the study by AI Future, significantly strengthen your argument. Providing such specific instances adds credibility to your claims.
coherence cohesion
While your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay and reiterates your stance, consider expanding on the implications or potential future developments to enrich your closing remarks.
task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider adding a counterargument paragraph where you acknowledge the opposing view more deeply before refuting it. This could provide a more balanced perspective and further showcase your argumentative skills.
coherence cohesion
Effectively organized essay structure
task achievement
Use of specific examples and evidence
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion reinforcing your stance

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: