The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What do you think? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#computers #society #support #arguments #evidence

In contemporary

society

, the usage of

computers

has become increasingly prominent. Some argue that electronic devices have benefited various aspects of daily living,

whereas

some believe it gives rise to excessive screen time and addiction. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view.

However

this

essay aims to analyse the benefits and drawbacks of

this

phenomenon. One paramount

benefit

of technology is the unparalleled convenience it offers

various

Change preposition

for various

show examples

aspects of daily living.

For instance

, Medicare Hospital has utilized

computers

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

workplace, which can be especially beneficial during complex operations.

Moreover

, Artificial Intelligence can enhance learning for students, making information more interesting and easy to obtain.

Furthermore

due to

technology, people are able to communicate over long distances through apps.

Hence

, it is evident that

computers

have the potential to

benefit

modern

society

in numerous ways. Despite

this

, one momentous concern is the heightened risk of overuse.

For example

, a recent study conducted by AI Future revealed that 35% of individuals are spending too much time interacting with

computers

Furthermore

, it is imperative to consider that excessive screen time can cause momentous health risks

such

as eye impairments and bad posture.

In addition

this

trend can

also

cause someone to get addicted.

Thus

, it is notable that electronic devices have drawbacks. In conclusion,

while

it is noted that

computers

can

benefit

society

, they can

also

cause health risks. It is my opinion that the advantages of

computers

far outweigh the disadvantages. If

computers

continue to advance,

then

they will

benefit

society

in the foreseeable future.

Submitted by jessicajreichel on Mon Apr 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Great job on constructing a well-organized essay. Each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, smoothly leading into supportive arguments and examples.

task achievement

Your examples and evidence, such as the mention of Medicare Hospital and the study by AI Future, significantly strengthen your argument. Providing such specific instances adds credibility to your claims.

coherence cohesion

While your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay and reiterates your stance, consider expanding on the implications or potential future developments to enrich your closing remarks.

task achievement

To further enhance your essay, consider adding a counterargument paragraph where you acknowledge the opposing view more deeply before refuting it. This could provide a more balanced perspective and further showcase your argumentative skills.

coherence cohesion

Effectively organized essay structure

task achievement

Use of specific examples and evidence

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion reinforcing your stance

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What do you think? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say History is one of the most important schoool subjects. Othert people think that, in todays world, subjects like Science and technolog are most important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You recently went to see a good play at a theatre, but you did not enjoy it because of some problems in the theatre. Write a letter to the manager of the theatre. In your letter: say which play you saw and when describe the problems you experienced in the theatre suggest what the manager should do

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?