IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
peroid
Correct your spelling
period
 the
people
Use synonyms
 want governments to spend
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 living their new
life
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Others think
this
Linking Words
 is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 when there are so many problems
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 planet.
Body paragraph 2
There are many advantages and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
Firstly
Linking Words
, The
people
Use synonyms
 want
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to raise
money
Use synonyms
 for
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
life
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can help the countries to gain in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 and it will save the
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 there are many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
 on
earth
Use synonyms
 which
was
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
 in living
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
 and global warming.
This
Linking Words
 can help the
people
Use synonyms
 alive
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
, If they had a tsunami, they would
died
Change the verb form
die
show examples
.
Body paragraph 4
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 think
this
Linking Words
 is a waste of
money
Use synonyms
 when there are so many problems on
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 planet.
They
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 deforestation
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 woods and
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 their homes
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution and
insufficent
Correct your spelling
insufficient
 oxygen for living
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
show examples
. The
government
Use synonyms
 can raise funds to invest in good
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
 for the rural
people
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 urban
peopleto
Correct your spelling
people to
 teach how to
many
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 our
earth
Use synonyms
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 to live and help
people
Use synonyms
 to live their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, In
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
, so many rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are hungry for
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, water, and shelter
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 can help the
people
Use synonyms
 to make their
place
Use synonyms
 better.
Conclusion
In conclusion, my opinion
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 stand with
people
Use synonyms
 who support
to make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 our
earth
Use synonyms
 a better
place
Use synonyms
 to live a better
life
Use synonyms
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we can make our
earth
Use synonyms
 to peaceful
place
Use synonyms
 for living
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
show examples
. So I strongly oppose the
government
Use synonyms
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
life
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction
Make sure to clearly introduce the topic and outline your discussion before diving into the arguments. This helps set a clear direction for your essay.
Paragraph Structure
Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Try to clearly state this idea at the beginning of the paragraph and then provide explanation or examples to support it.
Linking Words
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This enhances your essay's readability.
Conclusion
End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes the main points of your discussion and clearly states your own opinion. This helps to provide a clear ending to your essay.
Balance in Argument
While it is essential to express your opinion, also make sure to discuss the opposite viewpoint in detail, to fully address the essay prompt.
Use of Examples
Including specific examples enhances your argument. Try to provide concrete examples that support your points for a more persuasive essay.
Opinion Expression
You provided a clear stance on the topic, expressing your opinion effectively.
Relevance of Topic
Your essay tackles an interesting and relevant issue, stimulating thought on the allocation of resources for space exploration versus earthly concerns.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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