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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Modern technologies and synthetic intelligence are steadily being used for remote learning.
This
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 writer argues that expert systems can improve the quality of learning by helping
students
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 easily approach new knowledge, and the negative side is being abused by
students
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. It can be understood that new methods of
education
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 have made
students
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 closer and closer to the digital era. Nowadays, technology has reached levels of improvement, and some state-of-the-art facilities have been brought in for use by humans in recent years, so there are a lot of changes compared to the previous days. Studying online is one of the newest teaching methods- it allows both
students
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 and teachers to communicate and follow each other from a very far distance. There are
also
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 a lot of benefits of online
education
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., one of these is that it can help
students
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 get closer to a world without books as traditional
education
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. It can
also
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 gain more enthusiasm for
students
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 with some exciting diagrams, and
also
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 bring
students
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 to a wider vision to improve themselves.
For instance
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,
some
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in some
show examples
 correspondence courses, isolated
students
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 in the US do not need to
come
Verb problem
go
show examples
 to university but they can gain qualifications and get better jobs. Another argument that should be considered is that student can abuse AI for their personal purposes.
In other words
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, these
students
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 who cannot solve something by themselves often tend to rely on AI to give them some reasonable answers. Gradually,
students
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 are more dependent on modern facilities
instead
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 of themselves and
this
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 leads to
students
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 stopping developing themselves.
Therefore
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, we should consider the boundary between taking advantage and ill-use of AI.
To sum up
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, there are more negative sides than positive sides in the long run, as its advantages are too tiny with the drawbacks.
Moreover
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, AI has the potential to revolutionize
education
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 positively but responsible implementation, continuous monitoring, and ethical considerations are crucial to harness its benefits
while
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 mitigating risks.

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Task Achievement
Your essay nicely outlines the potential of AI in enhancing the learning experience, but focusing more on concrete examples can enrich the argument. Consider incorporating specific AI applications and research findings to strengthen your points.
Task Achievement
For a more compelling argument, try to balance the discussion of positive and negative aspects. While you mentioned drawbacks, elaborating on them in relation to the benefits could provide a more nuanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good structure, making it easy to follow. However, to enhance coherence, you could further refine the transition between paragraphs and ideas, ensuring smoother flow of information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more effectively, which will further improve the essay's cohesion.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion nicely frame your discussion, enhancing the overall structure of your essay.
Supported Main Points
You effectively use main points to support your thesis, indicating a solid understanding of the essay topic.
Engagement with Topic
Your exploration of the potential for AI to enhance learning showcases your ability to engage with complex ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • adaptive learning
  • learner's pace
  • AI-driven analytics
  • targeted instruction
  • interactive content
  • virtual reality
  • automate
  • administrative tasks
  • human interaction
  • social skills
  • data privacy
  • over-reliance
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
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