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Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development.

#computers #technology #education #development
To derive a double benefit from anything is considered a bonus, and
this
 is especially the case when discussing leisure
activities
 for children. The idea to fuse both education and entertainment into one activity is a goal of many educators; some would even believe that failure to do
this
 makes the activity pointless. Drawing from examples in Sweden and reviewing games,
such
 as Pokemon, I firmly believe that all
activities
 should have an educational value. Leisure
activities
 are a perfect time to take advantage of the receptiveness in a child’s mind, and some countries are adamant about
this
. Take Sweden,
for example
. For many years they have legally stipulated that all children’s toys sold in the country should have some educational value.
In addition
, for
such
 a rule to be passed it must be upheld by scientific research.
Therefore
, the advantage of incorporating an
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 element into toys is scientifically proven.
On the other hand
, across the UK, children were wasting their time collecting and learning the statistics of each creature on each Pokemon card. If,
however
, these cards had been intertwined with more educational data the child could have simultaneously gained a more practical education.
Due to
 the child learning large swathes of irrelevant and useless
information
Add a comma
information,
show examples
 it can be argued that the time would have been better spent with real facts and figures on the cards.
To conclude
, scientific evidence from Sweden and fantasy games
such
 as Pokemon with little educational value are two clear reasons why children’s leisure
activities
 should have an element of learning involved.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the question. While your discussion on the educational value of leisure activities is insightful, linking this more explicitly to online education and AI, as per the prompt, would enhance task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. While your structure is logical, greater use of linking phrases and transitions could enhance readability.
examples
Your use of specific examples, such as the situation in Sweden and the case of Pokemon cards, effectively supports your main points and argument. This strengthens both your coherence and task achievement.
structure
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organizational structure aids in the logical presentation of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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