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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

#computers #technology #education #development
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It is often said that A.
I
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Technology
 and computers are more common in online education to support teachers. Robotics can completely bring humans to boost their learning experiences through vivid, lifelike images and sounds.
Therefore
, it brings a lot of benefits for people to gain knowledge
more
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better and
easier
Replace the word
easily
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. It must be understood that
learners
 can learn more better with social devices. To be more specific, by computers or some
technology
 devices,
learners
 can easily access and practice some lessons which have been taught and unperformed yet.
Consequently
,
learners
 can understand and study lessons more effectively,
thus
, the learning experience of students
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is increasingly enhanced.
For instance
, chemistry is a subject that requires a lot of practice exercises for
learners
 to understand, but it is difficult to find materials and room to do it. Through electronic software, people can easily practice online. and study better.
On the other hand
, I would agree with those who think that developments in the field of AI will have beneficial effects on our lives in the not-so-distant future.
For example
, thanks to breakthroughs in satellite and spacecraft technologies, scientists will be able to make more precise predictions about extreme events,
such
 as asteroid collisions or violent storms, which might threaten life on Earth. Another example is that advances in automobile
technology
 would help curb traffic congestion and improve road safety. Driverless cars and surveillance cameras would greatly contribute to minimising traffic accidents and traffic offences. In conclusion,
although
 some people are worried about the threats that AI will cause to the world, I personally believe that developments in
this
technology
 will bring huge benefits to our lives.
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Introduction
Consider refining your introduction for a clearer statement of your argument - introduce your topic, then briefly outline both sides before stating your own view.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This helps strengthen your argument and makes your essay more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
Lexical Resource
Mind the accuracy of lexical choice - ensure words and phrases are used correctly in context for a more precise expression of ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Be careful with grammatical accuracy and range. Small inaccuracies can detract from the overall quality of your writing. Precision in grammar enhances clarity.
Balanced Argument
You effectively addressed both aspects of the topic, acknowledging the benefits of AI in education while also noting potential concerns.
Conclusion
Your conclusion does well to summarize the essay's main points, providing a satisfying closure.
Logical Structure
Your ideas are generally well-structured, facilitating a coherent progression of thoughts throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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