Write about the following topic: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In recent days, whether the
professionals
like doctors and engineers should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work
in the
country
they were trained in, or can they settle their career wherever they want. It is true that
humanbeings
Correct your spelling
human beings
have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
to decide their own future, but personally, I strongly hold the view that it will be better for
professionals
to
work
in the
country
they were trained. Admittedly, those who
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
people
should be free to
work
in another
country
if they wish do have a point.
Firstly
, it can lead to a better
development
of personal career.
Hence
people
in developing
countries
, heading to well-developed
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
offers
Verb problem
have
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more opportunities to gain a well-paid job.
Moreover
, developed
country
provides more advanced technology and
acknowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
show examples
.
This
means that they can have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
and deeper study in their
maijor
Correct your spelling
major
.
This
means that choosing to
work
in other
countries
by themselves may be a better choice for personal
development
.
However
, I still firmly hold that
people
should
work
in the
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
where they were trained, in terms of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
continuous
development
globally. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
for most
, as
people
will choose to
work
in well-developed
countries
, the gap between developing
countries
and developed ones will become wider and wider.
For example
, as we all know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most technical engineers prefer to
work
in America, as it is one of the most advanced and well-developed
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
in technology.
However
, in
this
case, if
people
can randomly choose the place they
work
in, it will be harder for
other less-developed
Change the wording
another less-developed country
other less-developed countries
show examples
country
like India to make progress.
Additionally
, keeping the
professionals
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
country
they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
were trained
is
Change preposition
in is
show examples
a better way for the
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
development
. With well-trained
professionals
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
their
further
research, they can not only
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
the professional
development
in the
country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
boost the
development
of
futher
Correct your spelling
further
education. In consequence, a positive cycle for the
country
is formed.
Thus
, the
country
will face a better and brighter
futher
Correct your spelling
future
further
. From what has been analyzed above,
although
there are
benift
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
when
people
can choose to
work
in whatever
country
they love
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, I still believe that
require
Wrong verb form
requiring
show examples
them to
work
in the
country
they live in will
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
a bigger profit for the world.
Submitted by 1434110674 on

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Structure
In your essay, try to balance the discussion by exploring both views thoroughly before stating your opinion. This ensures a well-rounded argument.
Cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider variety of linking phrases and ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
For a higher score, incorporate a broader range of vocabulary with precise word choices and pay attention to spelling and grammar to minimize inaccuracies.
Supporting Examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world instances or academic studies add depth and credibility to your points.
Introduction & Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Structure
Your essay logically structures the discussion, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point.
Use of Examples
You've effectively used examples, such as the preference for working in America, to illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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