Write about the following topic: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In recent days, whether the
professionals
like doctors and engineers should be
Unnecessary verb
apply
work
in the country
they were trained in, or can they settle their career wherever they want. It is true that humanbeings
have Correct your spelling
human beings
right
to decide their own future, but personally, I strongly hold the view that it will be better for Correct article usage
the right
professionals
to work
in the country
they were trained.
Admittedly, those who belive
Correct your spelling
believe
people
should be free to work
in another country
if they wish do have a point. Firstly
, it can lead to a better development
of personal career. Hence
people
in developing countries
, heading to well-developed country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
offers
Verb problem
have
them
more opportunities to gain a well-paid job. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Moreover
, developed country
provides more advanced technology and acknowledge
. Correct your spelling
knowledge
This
means that they can have a
access to Remove the article
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
further
and deeper study in their maijor
. Correct your spelling
major
This
means that choosing to work
in other countries
by themselves may be a better choice for personal development
.
However
, I still firmly hold that people
should work
in the coutry
where they were trained, in terms of Correct your spelling
country
a
continuous Correct article usage
apply
development
globally. First and formost
, as Correct your spelling
foremost
for most
people
will choose to work
in well-developed countries
, the gap between developing countries
and developed ones will become wider and wider. For example
, as we all know that
most technical engineers prefer to Correct word choice
apply
work
in America, as it is one of the most advanced and well-developed nation
in technology. Change to a plural noun
nations
However
, in this
case, if people
can randomly choose the place they work
in, it will be harder for other less-developed
Change the wording
another less-developed country
other less-developed countries
country
like India to make progress. Additionally
, keeping the professionals
at
the Change preposition
in
country
they
were trained Rephrase
where they
is
a better way for the Change preposition
in is
own
Correct word choice
apply
country
Change noun form
country's
development
. With well-trained professionals
stayed
and Wrong verb form
staying
do
their Wrong verb form
doing
further
research, they can not only benifit
the professional Correct your spelling
benefit
development
in the country
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
boost the development
of futher
education. In consequence, a positive cycle for the Correct your spelling
further
country
is formed.Thus
, the country
will face a better and brighter futher
.
From what has been analyzed above, Correct your spelling
future
further
although
there are benift
when Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
people
can choose to work
in whatever country
they love to
, I still believe that Change preposition
apply
require
them to Wrong verb form
requiring
work
in the country
they live in will do
a bigger profit for the world.Verb problem
make
Submitted by 1434110674 on
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Structure
In your essay, try to balance the discussion by exploring both views thoroughly before stating your opinion. This ensures a well-rounded argument.
Cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider variety of linking phrases and ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
For a higher score, incorporate a broader range of vocabulary with precise word choices and pay attention to spelling and grammar to minimize inaccuracies.
Supporting Examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world instances or academic studies add depth and credibility to your points.
Introduction & Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Structure
Your essay logically structures the discussion, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point.
Use of Examples
You've effectively used examples, such as the preference for working in America, to illustrate your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example