More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items from famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
There has been much debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
people
should choose famous brands
to buy clothes and other things. This
new trend is a direct consequence of strong advertising campaigns from huge companies and influencers. In my opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
this
tendency is bound to destroy smaller businesses and can bring more negative consequences than positive ones.
First and foremost, big companies in order to make profits promote their shiny products through intense advertisements, with the help of various influencers, celebrities and famous sportsmen. This
leads to more and more people
choosing between sellers based on the ads they see on the internet or other social media platforms. in order to follow the new trends brought by celebrities. For example
, the famous football player Ronaldo promotes sport
shoes of famous Change the noun form
sports
brands
, which, as a result
, many of his followers will buy.
This
trend most definitely will have a negative impact on society and most importantly, small businesses that are desperately looking for new customers. This
is because smaller brands
are not able to allocate big budgets to advertisements and therefore
are less known. Consequently
, society will not be informed about the products these smaller companies sell and will not be able to buy them. As well as
this
, some people
may feel unsatisfied with their lives, when they are not able to afford lavish products from famous brands
. As a result
, they may end up depressed or negatively impacted in other ways. For example
, individuals could struggle with financial problems when they spend all of their budget on popular brands
, which often cost a staggering amount of money.
In conclusion, a lot of people
buy from famous brands
for many different reasons. However
, I strongly believe that this
is a negative development,
because it can lead to bankruptcy of small businesses and issues with Remove the comma
apply
people
’s mental and financial state.Submitted by oimigle on
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Task achievement
Try to present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument more evenly. Though your position is clear, considering the opposing viewpoint strengthens your argument.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Some parts of your essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas.
Task achievement
Incorporate a broader variety of examples to support your points. While the examples provided are relevant, additional diversity and specificity would enrich your essay.
General advice
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and ensure proper punctuation. Avoid run-on sentences or comma splices to make your essay more academically polished.
Introduction
You have a clear thesis statement that sets the tone for your discussion.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your main points and reiterates your stance.
Examples
Your examples, such as the one involving Ronaldo, are effective in illustrating your points.