In many countries, people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is.

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Some individuals proceed to shift abroad or

move

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to a different region of their country after their

retirement

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This

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essay will discuss the reasons for their decision to migrate and the possible consequences of

this

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case. First of all, after spending decades in one location,

retirees

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often seek a change of scenery and a new environment to explore so that they can immerse themselves in different cultures, languages, and social communities, which can lead to personal growth, new friendships, and a richer

retirement

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experience. Another reason can be the lower cost of living

along with

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the quality of life. Some

retirees

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choose to

move

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to countries or areas with a lower cost of living to stretch their

retirement

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savings

further

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, which allows them to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle on a smaller budget. For a relevant example, Nepalese soldiers who had served their whole lives for the country opt to live in advanced foreign countries since Nepal doesn't provide quality facilities for them and their families. Moving on to the outcomes of

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situation, one of the main results can be economic implications for their former location. In areas heavily populated by

retirees

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such

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retirement

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communities or regions with

favorable

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favourable

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climates, local economies may rely on

retirees

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' spending on goods and services, which can possibly lead to a surplus of available housing and potentially lower property values.

Furthermore

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retirees

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often contribute to volunteer organizations, community events, and local initiatives. Their absence may require adjustments within these social structures and could impact the

overall

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sense of community.

However

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, when

retirees

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migrate to another place or a nation,

this

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creates opportunities for younger generations, particularly in areas where there is a "brain drain"

due to

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older individuals dominating the population. In conclusion, the decision of

retirees

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move

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overseas or to a different part of their country has both personal and broader societal implications. For

retirees

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such

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move

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offers the opportunity for a new chapter in life

while

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creating potential benefits and consequences for their former location.

Submitted by moon2014angel on Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the task effectively, covering the main reasons and outcomes of retirees moving abroad or to different parts of their country. However, to achieve higher scores, ensure that all ideas are fully developed with detailed examples and explanations. Consider discussing both positive and negative outcomes in more detail.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are logically structured and easy to follow, which is excellent. However, ensure smooth transitions between ideas and sentences to enhance the overall flow of your essay. Use a variety of linking phrases and cohesive devices to connect your points more naturally.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well and provides a strong structure for the reader.

task achievement

You have provided relevant specific examples, such as the reference to Nepalese soldiers, which strengthen your arguments and provide concrete evidence for your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

336 words

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In many countries, people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the teenagers years are the happiest times pf most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people say that we should not encourage sport games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extend do you agree or disagree with?