Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #purpose #school #children #citizens #workers #benefit #individuals

The significance of

education

has been highlighted over the past decades. From

this

aspect, questions about whether the main aim of

school

is to turn

children

into civilised citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals arise. In my opinion, the main purpose of

school

is to turn

children

into good citizens and workers to some extent. Irrefutably,

education

improves national human resources.

This

is because

children

can learn various knowledge in

subjects

such

as science, mathematics, and literature through

education

This

obviously leads to enhancing an interest in careers related to their favorite modules and

this

in turn allows them to have a wanted job in the future. What is more,

although

the influence of home

education

cannot be ignored,

children

experience several parts of society at

school

. To exemplify, they have to attend class on a daily basis, struggle with difficult

subjects

, and compete with classmates to gain high scores.

This

therefore

, brings about easy adaptation to real society.

Nevertheless

school

educations focus on the prime

subjects

In other words

, since

children

are forced to learn limited modules, they have low opportunities for minor

subjects

such

as ethics, arts, and physical training, so they are less likely to enjoy valuable activities related to minor

subjects

To conclude

school

education

focuses on the prime

subjects

but

children

can learn various knowledge in

subjects

such

as science, mathematics, and literature through

education

and

children

experience several parts of society at

school

Thus

, the main purpose of

school

is to turn

children

into good citizens and workers.

Submitted by subin12260 on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Structure

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your viewpoint on the topic and that the conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your position.

Argument development

To provide a more balanced view, consider dedicating specific examples or a paragraph to how schools might also benefit individuals beyond preparing them for citizenship and work.

Coherence

Consider integrating transitions more fluidly between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas for the reader.

Lexical Resource

Explore a wider range of vocabulary related to education and societal contribution to enrich your discussion.

Structure

You've done a great job providing a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Supporting examples

You effectively use examples to support your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial
shaping
developing
unique talents
potential
well-rounded
academic
social
emotional development
personal growth
contribute positively
self-expression
creativity
individuality
happier and more fulfilled
strike a balance
preparing students for the workforce
nurturing
individual needs
pursue passions and interests
thrive
future professionals
community institutions
shape community values
foster civic engagement

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Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowdays, many people complain that they have deficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people think that, in order to increase the amount of waste products that are recycled, governments should introduce laws making recycling a compulsory act. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers remain the main source of news for the majority of people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Machine translation (MT) is slower and less accurate than human translation and there is no immediate or predictable likelihood of machines taking over this role from humans. Do you agree or disagree?