Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

#children #access #internet #face #supervision

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The online engagement rate of teenagers on social platforms has increased in the

last

Linking Words

few years.

However

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, some

children

Use synonyms

use these sites without

Use synonyms

parents'

Correct pronoun usage

their parents'

show examples

supervision which can numerous

problems

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in their lives. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss those issues and provide measures to solve them. To commence with the

problems

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, it is very common for

children

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to come across strangers, who can influence them negatively. It is very easy to target

children

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as they are not aware of bad people who are active on social websites and can use them for their own welfare like misguiding them to send their nude photos, share inappropriate content etc. These actions not

on affect

Verb problem

only

show examples

them mentally but

also

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physically. If online abuse goes over the limit, sometimes offspring prefer to commit suicide rather than share it with their

parents

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

this

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, social activation is a waste of time.

Although

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, teens know it but still spend most of their time scrolling Instagram, TikTok,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

Facebook.

This

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activation hinders their physical growth

as well as

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affects their studies. Since the invention of the internet, individuals have lacked exercise as compared to before. It is causing so many health

problems

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such

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as heart diseases,

blood

Correct word choice

high blood

show examples

pressure, respiratory

problems

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etcetera. Moving

further

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towards the solution of all these issues

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

first and foremost is that

parents

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should monitor their kids. They should keep an eye on activities that they perform online.

In addition

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, they should try to build a transparent relationship with their

children

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, so that they do not hesitate to share their

problems

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Moreover

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, they can act as a role model for their

children

Use synonyms

by indulging themselves in good habits like less usage of mobile phones, spending quality time with family, reading books , exercising, yoga, meditation and so on. In

this

Linking Words

way, they can protect offspring from the claws of the internet.

To conclude

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, the internet is invented for the sake of people. offspring should use it in limit and

parents

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should supervise them,

while

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their juveniles are using it.

Submitted by lovekirandeepk on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Specificity

Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. While you have highlighted the issues vividly, backing them with more concrete examples will strengthen your essay.

Grammatical Accuracy

Be cautious with minor grammatical errors and typos in your essay. Such errors can distract readers from your message. Proofreading your work before submission can help eliminate these inaccuracies.

Sentence Variety

Try to vary your sentence structures to keep your writing engaging. While your essay is well-structured, incorporating a variety of sentence patterns can enhance its readability and flow.

Comprehensive Coverage

You've done an excellent job addressing the topic comprehensively, covering both the problems and the solutions related to children's unsupervised internet use.

Logical Structure

Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your use of linking words and phrases contributes to the coherence and cohesion of your essay, making your arguments easier to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unsupervised access
parental supervision
inappropriate content
online bullying
harassment
strangers
mental health
well-being
addiction
privacy
security

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Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

Your opinion

In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Some say the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others say that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?