Some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions.

There is an ongoing debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
spending capital on
libraries
is a bad method to waste
money
, even if it does not appeal to you at all. Some people advocate that spending cash for access to
libraries
is significant ,
whereas
others
are of
Verb problem
have
show examples
no strong feelings on the matter.
This
essay completely disagrees with the opinion and considers that consuming cash for
libraries
is worth
instead
Correct pronoun usage
it instead
show examples
of the
internet
.
To begin
, the essay believes that some opportunities are not provided by the
internet
for customers.
In other words
, well-written books might not be found on websites by individuals pursuing historical events since plenty of documents are able to disappear on the
internet
due to
their unsecured situation.
For instance
, in 2019 a myriad of users could not access information on Wikipedia as it was hacked for a
while
.
Hence
, determining
libraries
instead
of spending time with devices is likely to encourage
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in order to research more.
Secondly
, not only does consuming
money
for
libraries
provide resources
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it can
also
encourage individuals
so as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to be social.
In other words
, a multitude of relationships are established in
libraries
while
people focus on their tasks, yet on the
internet
, users prefer to prevent their social distance from
foreigns
Correct your spelling
foreigners
show examples
since no one knows each other during meetings on the
internet
.
For example
, individuals who regularly go to
libraries
to study had to stay at home during the Corona-19 epidemic.
Then
, it was observed that the circumstances of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
were likely to lessen their mood and psychological cases.
Thus
, spending
money
on
libraries
is not just a way to learn information from books because it is likely to contribute cognition of humans.
To conclude
, the essay strongly believes that sacrificing cash to access
libraries
is more beneficial than exploring something with technology since it makes folk accessible and peaceful. Some people think that the amount of
money
spent on the library is a waste as new technologies are developing and replacing library functions.
Submitted by samedsaysg on

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Task Achievement
Consider refining your introduction to more directly state your main argument, making it clear to the reader what stance you are taking from the outset.
Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear position and supports it with examples, strive to enhance the specificity of these examples to further strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve the readability and flow of your essay, which will enhance the overall coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, contributing to a smoother reading experience.
Task Achievement
You effectively maintained a consistent stance throughout the essay, which is critical for a strong task response.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reaffirming the stance you've taken and reinforcing the essay's message.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next aids in understanding your argument, demonstrating good cohesion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital infrastructure
  • eBooks
  • online journals
  • educational platforms
  • deep reading
  • screen time
  • cultural heritage
  • printed materials
  • balanced approach
  • unique value
  • community centers
  • free access
What to do next:
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