IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the coming of digital education,some people believe that trend of traditional studies may fall down .Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As we live on the edge of technology, digital
education
Use synonyms
 has infiltrated all aspects of the existing educational system.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that the rise of digital
education
Use synonyms
 will cause a decline in traditional
studies
Use synonyms
, others hold a contrasting viewpoint. It is my contention that taking a standing position against the digitalization of the
education
Use synonyms
 system would be a futile effort and there is a high likelihood of convention
studies
Use synonyms
 being ceased to their existence. First and foremost, in the contemporary world, digitalization is proven to be one of the salient factors that every
education
Use synonyms
 centre aspires to implement. Online school and
education
Use synonyms
 selections have brought a new customer base into the business, earning them a staggering amount of money. Nowadays, the number of students who transition from classroom to online platforms is on a continuous rise
due to
Linking Words
 the benefits incorporated with constantly developing study programs.
For example
Linking Words
, online
education
Use synonyms
 provides full flexibility for juveniles to indulge by participating in classrooms from far-distanced locations.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another advantage of the digitalized
education
Use synonyms
 system is the unlimited amount of resources that will be accessible with the click of a button as opposed to the conventional learning methods when children had to spend hours looking for resources from different sources or libraries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, proponents of traditional
studies
Use synonyms
 believe that the human element and the merits of face-to-face interactions cannot be replicated. Based on the research and investigations, the physical classroom environment fosters collaboration and communication among peers and teachers, establishing healthy personal relationships which is not available through the online version. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
 statement, at university and schools, adolescents have more chance of getting into contact with their teachers in order to address their personal questions,
thus
Linking Words
, receiving more knowledge than could be delivered through online platforms. In conclusion, the advent of digital
education
Use synonyms
 has sparked a debate about the future of traditional
studies
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 digital
studies
Use synonyms
 bring forth several advantages
such
Linking Words
 as flexibility and distance learning, traditional
studies
Use synonyms
 offer unique benefits like face-to-face communication and networking opportunities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What works well

3
task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive exploration of the topic, skillfully discussing both the impact of digital education and the value of traditional studies.

task achievement

You've effectively used examples and evidence to support your main points, which strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and well-developed, encapsulating your viewpoints succinctly and reinforcing your argument.

Improvement Suggestions

2
task achievement

Your essay successfully discusses both viewpoints and provides a well-reasoned opinion, effectively fulfilling the task requirements. However, ensure each paragraph clearly relates to and supports your thesis to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

You have organized your essay well, employing a logical structure that guides the reader through your arguments clearly. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve flow and coherence further.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: