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Band 5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything, they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
Newspapers
 and
books
 are losing their popularity now. There is a statement that some
newspapers
 or
books
 will not be used because people can read everything online without spending money. I personally disagree with
this
 statement for strong reasons. Admittedly, not everyone can afford
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to buy phones, because they
cost
Verb problem
are
show examples
 more expensive than
books
 or
newspapers
. It is more comfortable for people to buy a newspaper and read the news of the day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than buy a telephone, which cannot be used forever. Another reason is
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 issues that new technologies usually cause. In
this
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 it refers to our
eye-sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
. We know that the phones which we use every day
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 rays. These rays are very dangerous and can affect our
health
 very badly. As we know, more money is needed to solve the
health
 problem.
Last
 but not least, reading
books
 is more comfortable.
Books
 have an emotional and sentimental value that cannot be replaced by digital media.
Moreover
, the act of holding a physical book, flipping through its pages and smelling the scent of paper is an integral part of the reading experience.
To sum up
, it is true that technology has made
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
 to access information online, but I think physical
books
 and
newspapers
 will continue to hold a special place in people’s bookcases and in their hearts. Many people cannot afford
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to buy a technological device. It can cause serious
health
 problems and of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 the act of holding a physical book means everything
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 me.
Submitted by vardanyaninna10 on

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Task Response
Try to explore both sides of the argument before presenting your stance. This balanced approach will enhance the complexity and depth of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words to more effectively connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, increasing the persuasiveness of your essay.
Logical Structure
You've successfully maintained a logical structure throughout your essay.
Introduction/Conclusion Presence
Introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, delineating your position on the topic.
Supported Main Points
Main points are supported although they would benefit from more detailed examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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