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Band 7.5

Air pollution is one the largest problems facing the world today. What are its causes and what measures can be proposed to solve this problem.

#air #pollution #world #measures
In contemporary society,
air
pollution
 has become one of the dominant obstacles faced by the world.
Although
such
pollution
 is undermined by myriad factors, there are numerous practical solutions to cope with it.
This
 essay will examine the undermining aspects of
air
pollution
 and propose effective solutions. To commence, the substantial increase in
pollution
 levels is caused by numerous factors.
Firstly
, the excessive use of private vehicles, namely cars and motorcycles has contributed to the dramatic surge in the level of
pollution
, as private vehicles produce noxious gas emissions into the
air
.
Therefore
,
such
 harmful gas emissions lead to the declining quality of the
air
, which may result in several respiratory diseases, including asthma.
Additionally
, the over-reliance on non-renewable
energy
sources
,
such
 as coal and fossil fuel
also
 contribute to the increasing level of
pollution
. These traditional
energy
sources
 are used as a primary source to secure people’s demand for electricity.
Conversely
, despite the issues that cause
air
pollution
, a plethora of actions can alleviate them. One paramount action is to construct an effective public transportation system, which can potentially reduce the number of private vehicle users on the street.
Consequently
, with a robust public transit system, many individuals will opt for public transportation over private vehicles, as public transportation,
such
 as trains, offers greater speed in commuting.
Moreover
, the government can promulgate a policy that fosters the utilization of green
energy
sources
such
 as wind, solar, and geothermal
energy
.
Such
 a policy is imposed in order to replace non-renewable
energy
sources
 and prevent over-reliance on them. To encapsulate,
while
air
pollution
 is caused by massive private vehicle usage and conventional
energy
sources
, promoting efficient public transit systems and enacting a policy that boosts the development of eco-friendly
energy
sources
 may be viable solutions. Through these efforts, I believe that we can pave the way for a more sustainable future.
Submitted by rasendrya.hafiz on

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task achievement
Although the essay provides a complete response to the topic, adding more specific examples or data could enhance your argument further. This would help in illustrating the points more vividly and improve the depth of the discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the task prompt are fully explored. While your essay addresses the main causes and solutions, consider discussing more varied dimensions or additional angles.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, a body that discusses causes and solutions, and a conclusion that summarizes the key points.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are presented in a coherent manner, linking the causes of air pollution with the proposed solutions effectively, ensuring the reader can follow the argument easily.
task achievement
The essay is comprehensive and covers the primary causes of air pollution and potential solutions logically and clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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