IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

As a country develops, more people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the positive for the individual outweigh the negatives for the environment?

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In
this
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 era of rapid development, people’s purchasing power is increasing, leading to a rise in
car
Use synonyms
 ownership.
While
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 owning a
car
Use synonyms
 offers many advantages, it
also
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 negatively impacts the environment.
This
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 essay will discuss both aspects before reaching a conclusion. It is undeniable that having a
car
Use synonyms
 provides comfort and improves an individual’s standard of living. It makes commuting easier and saves time that would
otherwise
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 be spent on public transport.
This
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 is particularly beneficial for people living in rural areas, where access to public transportation is limited.
Additionally
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, owning a
car
Use synonyms
 allows people to travel at their convenience, making daily activities more efficient.
However
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, the increase in
car
Use synonyms
 ownership has several negative effects on the environment. The rise in vehicle usage leads to higher pollution levels, as cars emit harmful gases
such
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 as carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides, which contribute to global warming and respiratory diseases.
Moreover
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, to accommodate the growing number of vehicles, governments expand roads, often leading to deforestation and loss of natural habitats. Traffic congestion is another major issue, increasing fuel consumption and worsening air pollution.
Although
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 cars provide personal benefits, the long-term environmental consequences outweigh them. Rising pollution levels, deforestation, and traffic congestion pose significant threats to the planet. To address
this
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 issue, governments should implement policies
such
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 as promoting public transport, encouraging electric vehicles, and imposing restrictions on excessive
car
Use synonyms
 use. In conclusion,
while
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car
Use synonyms
 ownership enhances convenience and comfort, its negative impact on the environment is more severe and long-lasting. To ensure sustainable development, a balance between personal benefits and environmental responsibility is essential.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your discussion on the long-term environmental impacts of car ownership and possibly include specific statistics or studies to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each point made in your essay is fully developed to provide a comprehensive view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To enhance cohesion, utilize more varied linking words and phrases to connect your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader on the main idea being discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both aspects of car ownership with good consideration of the positives and negatives.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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