IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart belows gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

The chart belows gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018
#belows #information #families #country #income
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The information about the income and expenditure of families in one particular nation in 1968 and
in
Change preposition
apply
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2018 is depicted by the given bar graph. The information is calibrated in the form of
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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. The most striking feature of the chart is that previously families were spending their maximum
amount
Use synonyms
 on food,
while
Linking Words
 the minimum paying off was observed for categories
such
Linking Words
 as fuel
and
Correct word choice
apply
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power and personal hygiene. Taking a cursory glance,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in the former year, people spent
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
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amount
Use synonyms
 on transportation, personal care and household items,
while
Linking Words
 the spending on housing and shopping for
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
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 and footwear had a proportion of a tenth. A significant difference of 3%
on
Change preposition
in
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 the
costing
Replace the word
cost
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 of fuel and electricity and entertainment can be noticed where the former lies at 6% and the latter at 9%.
However
Linking Words
, residents were spending their maximum portion of money on food which was noted as 35%.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in 2018, individuals
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 twice on food(16%) as compared to household objects(8%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, citizens spent
negligible
Correct article usage
a negligible
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amount
Use synonyms
 on fuel
and
Correct word choice
apply
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energy and personal care
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 proportion is significantly high in housing and entertainment activities which is around one-fifth.
Although
Linking Words
, adults were spending
fair
Add an article
a fair
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of nearly 15% on transport
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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this
Linking Words
 figure was only 5% in
shoes
Correct article usage
the shoes
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 and apparel category.
Submitted by navkiranji on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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