Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In
this
contemporary era, with the advancement of technology and globalization, the use of modern technological devices has rapidly increased. Many tend to spend most of their precious time virtually on modern devices. Linking Words
This
essay outlines the negative development examining the reasons and potential consequences.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the development of cellular phones positively impacted our community in different ways. By examining the method of communication between the past generations Linking Words
this
method has proliferated the company to provide and upgrade their devices. People from anywhere in the part of the world can communicate virtually. Linking Words
For example
, applications like WhatsApp, Instagram and Skype play a prominent role in Linking Words
this
generation. Another reason, nowadays a great number of kids own their own smartphones mainly to communicate with their group of friends. Cellular phones have become an inseparable device in Linking Words
adolescents
lives. Change noun form
adolescents'
adolescent's
For instance
, pupil uses it for watching movies, playing video games and Linking Words
also
reading e-commerce books through Amazon Prime which grabs their attention Linking Words
into
their phones.
From my perspective, Change preposition
on
this
development has various drawbacks. First and foremost, it is extremely time-consuming as children find themselves scrolling down for hours rather than focusing on extracurricular activities or playing outdoor games with their counterparts. With excessive use, people can become isolated and find difficulty in communicating in academics or even with neighbourhoods. Linking Words
For example
, if a child only speaks to his friends by texting, he would not be able to express his ideas in face-to-face interactions, which will make him depressed and anxious.
In short, Linking Words
although
the growth of modern technology has impacted the world in variable ways, it can damage the children's brains to think and vision with over usage even in their growing stage.Linking Words
Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on
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Task Response
Try to provide more balanced viewpoints to address both the positive and negative aspects of the topic as prompted.
Task Response
Include more specific examples and data to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion.
Conclusion
You have a clear and concise conclusion that summarises your arguments.
Lexical Resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?