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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or travel. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #gap #year #school #university #work #travel
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In
this
 fast-paced society,
while
 the educational
gap
 broadens many graduates’ appeal, others have an adverse opinion. From my perspective, taking a
gap
year
 before attending university has more drawbacks than benefits. On the one hand,
this
 trend has become more and more popular because of the upsides it brings to people.
To begin
 with, it is the time for high school graduates to enhance their academic studies.
For example
, IELTS, and TOEFL certificates are essential for individuals to get promoted in various fields, so
this
 transitional phase is a valuable chance for them to focus on study in order to get high band scores. Another positive side of
this
 tendency is in terms of emotional balance.
In other words
, after 12 years of studying stressfully, graduating seniors can step out of their comfort zones by travelling to other places to explore
as well as
 develop a deeper understanding of themselves. It can be seen that many good points are given by the
gap
year
.
On the other hand
,
gap
 period takers may be in the face of several challenges.
First,
students may waste their precious time on aimless experiences.
Instead
 of continuing higher study in universities or colleges, graduates opt for staying at home with their vague plans about the career path. The second highlight is that it is more complicated for individuals to come back after an academic hiatus because of missing opportunities so they feel less motivated.
Last
 but not least, they may be impacted by financial constraints. In fact, no matter what purpose students decide to take a bridge
year
, they may have to deal with the hassle of the burden of money
such
 as tuition, and travelling fees. In conclusion,
although
 taking a time-out after graduating high school offers some advantages
such
 as getting the necessary skills and balancing emotions, it presents more adverse influences including academic delay, motivation loss and financial strains.
Thus
, it is crucial for people to consider the nature of
gap
year
 and its potential consequences before engaging in
this
 tendency.
Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-structured argument and thoughtfully examines both sides of the gap year debate, however, integrating more specific examples and details could make your points more convincing and vivid.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth. This will help in creating a more cohesive argument.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introductory and concluding paragraphs effectively frame the debate, clearly stating your position and summarizing the key arguments.
Logical Structure
The essay demonstrates a good balance between discussing advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a logical structure throughout.
Supported Main Points
You have made an effort to support your main points with explanations, albeit more specific examples could strengthen your argument.
Complete Response
Your essay comprehensively addresses the topic, presenting a clear and impactful argument on the merits and drawbacks of taking a gap year.
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