Some people argue that art classes should become compulsory in high school education. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

art
Capitalize word
Art
show examples
is
attractive
Add an article
the attractive
an attractive
show examples
thing that
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
our feelings and we can
connection
Replace the word
connect
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with
universe
Add an article
the universe
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through it
.
Correct your spelling
Art
art
is the common language of the world
people
so it is good if
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children learn about
art
in high school. There are different
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
art
such
as music ,
panting
Correct your spelling
painting
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,sculpture and poetry
.some
Correct your spelling
Some
people
are talented in
art
if
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
find
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
talent in
art
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be can create a world
works
Change preposition
of works
show examples
of
art
such
as Shakespeare,Van Gogh,Bach … that they can influence on all the
people
in different ages. so amazing if you can find your innate talent but how can gain it
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
maybe some
people
can distinguish our capacity but some
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
find it so if there are places that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can go here and they know their flairs and cultivate , we will have the persons like most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Art
can
incredibly
Change the word
incredible
show examples
effect on
people
, we can use
art
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
connection
Replace the word
connect
show examples
with
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
with
Correct word choice
different kind
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of nationality and
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
.we can express our emotions
for example
draw
Wrong verb form
by drawing
show examples
a beautiful painting ,
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music that
sound
Change the verb form
sounds
show examples
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
your soul to another world ,
listen
Wrong verb form
listening
show examples
a poetry that you feel love
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
anger or
sad
Replace the word
sadness
show examples
and
art
makes
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
vision inside you .I
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
find
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
art
In fact ,
art
is a part of human existence and you can create wonderful artwork that there are a lot of positive
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
undoubted
Replace the word
undoubtedly
show examples
put in the
art
class in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school until we can find the future talents and establish the best paths to success for them .
Submitted by mayaghini on

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Structure
Be sure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will help readers understand your argument more easily.
Coherence
Enhance your essay's coherence by connecting your ideas more smoothly. Consider using linking words and phrases to help your essay flow better.
Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked. Clearly state your position and back it up with relevant examples and detailed explanations.
Examples
Although you've included some examples of artists, try to elaborate further on how art classes in high school specifically can foster talent and contribute to discovering future artists.
Passion
Your passion for art and its importance shines through, which engages the reader.
Diversity and Universality of Art
You've successfully highlighted the variety within art—music, painting, sculpture, and poetry—as well as its universal language.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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