Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Countless
of
innocent Change preposition
apply
lives
have perished in third world
countries every day. Common diseases that can be remedied are taking away Add a hyphen
third-world
lives
due to
the fact that these people are unable to afford drugs
they require. In my essay, I will delve into why I believe that pharmaceutical Correct article usage
the drugs
companies
should reduce their price
tag for drugs
being sold to poorer nations
and provide my explanations for them.
To begin
, citizens of poor countries are dying at an alarming rate due to
curable diseases. These common diseases, like flu, are curable by simple medication which is how people of richer countries are dealing
with them on a day-to-day basis. The Wrong verb form
deal
price
of drugs
makes even the most common disease seem like a death sentence. However
, despite this
sad plight, no action has been taken by these large multinational pharmaceutical companies
to reduce the price
of drugs
that are being supplied to those poorer nations
due to
the fear of negative financial implications. For example
, it is reported by Fox News that the American company of
Pfizer has refused to reduce the Change preposition
apply
price
as they are concerned with their share prices at the stock market if their products are associated with cheap rates.
Adding on, I believe, at
the heart of a pharmaceutical corporation, helping people should be helm as an utmost priority above profits. Correct word choice
that at
By allowing
their drug products to be sold cheaper, will help save many millions of Change preposition
Allowing
lives
. As a bonus, this
action will most certainly help build their reputation status. For instance
, in 2008, a pilot project led by Singaporean drug company, Reddot, sold their drugs
at an incredible discount of 90%, into
Change preposition
to
the
poorer Correct article usage
apply
nations
like Senegal and Tongo to aid them fight off their mosquito season which took away half a million lives
in the previous year. This
project, received applause from various governments across the globe, especially in the home country of Singapore, which injected one million dollars into the company as an amount to pledge
support the project.
In conclusion, I believe that Add the particle
pledge to
lives
are more important than profit margins for companies
that are afraid of being labeled
cheap. Reduced rates of selling Change the spelling
labelled
drugs
especially
to those who really need them is vital in saving Add the comma(s)
, especially
lives
. Therefore
, I encourage all drug companies
across the world to step in and save lives
, especially for
those in poorer Change preposition
apply
nations
.Submitted by chubbybunny on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Continue to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, as you've done, ensuring a logical flow throughout.
Style
Consider varying your sentence structures and using synonyms to enhance the readability and impact of your writing.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, work on deepening your analysis and providing even more specific examples or data to support your points.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear stance on the issue and backed it up with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, making your arguments easy to follow.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.