IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

most people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. why? do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples,e.g from your knowledge or experience

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Family
Correct article usage
A family
show examples
 can not be full without children.They had
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
 role in life.The topic is about
that
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 today's generation
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
 to have
baby
Add an article
a baby
the baby
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 later
age
Use synonyms
 than in the past. On the one hand,
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 children
Change preposition
at in
show examples
Change preposition
at in
show examples
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
 has more disadvantages.By having babies
parents
Use synonyms
 had a big responsibility to grow up them.
Instead
Linking Words
 of that young
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
 can travel in whole world, get fantastic emotions and
then
Linking Words
 come home.Unfortunately,with
children
Add a comma
children,
show examples
 it is so hard.If
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
marriage
Replace the word
married
show examples
 couple
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not see
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not experience great emotions
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 they
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their best time to be only together.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
later
Correct article usage
a later
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 is
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 for both
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
 and mother to focusing their career.
For instance
Linking Words
,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 could not share their love,care and attention
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of their employment.
However
Linking Words
, the weak financial situation of the
parents
Use synonyms
 affects on kid's education and his/her lifestyle.To avoid
such
Linking Words
 complicated circumstances at home, it is a wiser decision to have a kid after couples become more stable economically and mentally.
Overall
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 advantages surely outweigh the disadvantages of being
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a parents
show examples
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 at the right
age
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, For most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future guardians there are numerous pros to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a baby
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
later
Add an article
a later
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 to establish healthy and lavish
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their kids, those
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
definitely
eliminated
Wrong verb form
eliminate
show examples
 the cons.

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Introduction Development
To enhance your essay, consider expanding on your introduction by clearly stating your viewpoint on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This will provide a stronger foundation for your argument.
Sentence Structure and Linking
Try to vary your sentence structures and link sentences more smoothly to improve the flow of your essay. This can make your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
Supporting Examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. Personal experiences or broader societal observations can make your essay more engaging and persuasive.
Grammar and Punctuation
Be mindful of typos and grammatical errors, as they can distract from your message. A quick review of your work before submission can help catch these mistakes.
Balanced Discussion
You have tackled both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the message of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • societal norms
  • priorities
  • career
  • financial stability
  • medical technology
  • life expectancy
  • emotional readiness
  • psychological readiness
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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