Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disgree.

Some individuals argue that youngsters need to attend free public
work
in their leisure
occasion
Fix the agreement mistake
occasions
show examples
and
this
activity has advantages for teenagers and society. I strongly agree with
this
statement because it leads to self-cognition and independent
life
. Nowadays,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population have no idea about what they can do and their
skills
. By attending free
community
work
, not only do they know about society and problems that exist, but
also
, they
know
Rephrase
also know
show examples
themselves and their potential
skills
. If they cooperate with these kinds of
activities
, they do a variety of
activities
and they can find out what
activities
they can do better.
In addition
, young people can develop their
skills
like communication.
For instance
, in the UK schools force students to attend different
community
works like charity free to gain more
skills
and find themselves better. Another benefit of these
activities
is independence. Young people who
work
in free
community
services learn to live alone.
In other words
, they learn to solve different challenges and obstacles by themselves.
Furthermore
, they learn to manage their
life
and their time from the experiences that they gain. It means, they try to organise their
life
to do each task at a certain time and it leads to preventing waste of time which is common in the young generation's
life
.
For Example
, when young people who
work
in free
community
services encounter a challenge in their
life
, they can handle it without any support much easier than the other youngsters because they acquired more experiences in comparison with the others. In conclusion, the young generation needs to attend free
community
services to gain more experience in order to know themselves and their
skills
,
also
, more experience leads to
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
and solving problems.
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on

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task achievement
Ensure to directly address the question asked not only in the introduction but also in the conclusion to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
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coherence & cohesion
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coherence & cohesion
Use a variety of conjunctions and cohesive devices to improve the flow between your sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
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task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion strongly reflect your opinion, contributing to a clear task response.
coherence & cohesion
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